So for speech there’s two main components that people use to determine gender: weight and resonance. To sound feminine you want to get your weight low and your resonance high. Neither of these are pitch.

Pitch variation is a style of speaking commonly associated with women but isn’t exclusive to them. It’s also relative, you aren’t aiming for specific pitches, but just to have a lot of change in pitch.

Singing is an additional challenge because absolute pitch does matter here. Going through testosterone puberty does lower the pitch of your voice. How much varies person to person.

When I started voice training, I used https://www.youtube.com/@TransVoiceLessons videos a lot to guide me. I still think her approach of keeping your voice relaxed, recording and listening to yourself a lot, and learning to hear the various components of your voice is the best way to do it. I know other teachers focus on specific techniques or drills but the free form method is what worked for me.

For singing, well, you need to know more or less how to sing. That’s something I learned from my mom and from being in university choir a few semesters. Singing training and vocal feminization both require learning how to make specific sounds with your voice and complement each other but they are different. For me, I learned to sing, then later trans’ed my gender and feminized my voice. It’s taken a while and a fair bit of focused practice to build up the skill to hold my resonance and weight while also keeping pitch steady and hitting the right vowel sounds most of the time. There’s still some problem areas but it’s enough that I can sing around the house without the dysphoria forcing me into silence. I don’t have aims of being a musician, and I’ll never be a soprano but I like singing again and that was my goal.