The mantle of greatness on my shoulders is getting heavy. It sounds horrible but I totally get why so many of us fall to either affairs, alcohol, or divorce.
Its just SO unrelenting. Its a nightmare. I have no energy to do anything after a 60 hour work week, cooking, cleaning, walking youngest to bed until 11 pm and then waking up at 5. One day off a week. I’m just so fking over it 🤢
Some of them don’t, they keel over and die.
Congratulations on surviving! That is a good sign.
Next step: survive until you feel the urge to blame the younger generations for all problems.
The fuck you working 60 hours. Jesus Christ. Go see your family and fuck off work.
Kudos for talking up, mate. Great starting point.
We do share your pain.
You have to make time for yourself boss. You need to set boundaries with your job as well. 60 hours is too much.
Well said, as that is what I do.
But god, it’s hard to set those boundaries so many times… Compromising on pay is one option, but it is certainly not great. Having said so, priorities did change when we had the kids.
As others have stated: lose the 60 hour work week. That was insane when you were young and crazier as you get older. In 20 years the only people who remember your effort for your boss, are your children because you were never there for them.
An advice from my father in law that always stayed with me: if you can, try to find a job far enough to enable you to flip the mental switch from employee to house father and back, but nearby enough to not waste time commuting. He used to need 30 minutes for that. I need a 15 minute bicycle ride.
Also: long walks, running in the weekends and a few beers every night. Not proud of the latter.
I stuck with 0% beer, as some brands are not as bad these days. Sacrifices we do for the kids…
I bagged any hope of a career. I’m not going to advance, or ever make anymore money. But I have a job that is flexible enough to give me time to care for my kids. I’ll never retire. I’ll just get fired and never get another job when I’m too old.
Found I pretty much had to give up anything not helping me. So No alcohol, trying to do without any fried food. Since I’m always tired been going without extra caffeine, decaf coffee always.
But pretty much all that leave me slightly less failing to get everything done.
Basically I just look at being a dad as thing I get to do.
My wife is abusive so that really drags down the equation.
It’s okay if you don’t want to answer but I wanted to ask what makes you stay married to your wife if she’s abusive?
Women get the default on primary custody of children. It an effective line of attack to threaten to take tge kids.
Theres a reason dads make hobbies out of their yard, grilling and DIY.I have to do this shit anyway, it can either be what stops me from doing what I want or I can find the happiness and satisfaction in it.
My relaxation time might be ten minutes having a coffee in the back yard with the garden and lawn looking immaculate but it would have been 2 hours work to get it to “done” but 3 to get it to “perfect” because ultimately what was I gonna do with that hour? Watch some Youtube videos I only half give a fuck about or play a video game I’m mediocre at. Once you figure out you can also run a smoker while you do those chores at the end of the day everyone gets ribs.
By slowing down. Downsizing. Simplifying. Changing the environment. Maybe therapy. Maybe a support group. Maybe cutting your salary by 25%. But it sounds like you have a kid, so your options are limited - I wouldn’t recommend alcohol, gambling etc.
You have to start being more of a fuckup so people don’t rely on you so much.
Really helps to not make any dependents as well
60 hour work week. That’s your problem right there.
seriously. even single a 60 hour workweek is going to leave you with zero time to take care of yourself, let alone children.
most people i have known doing 60 hour weeks are the type who are eating every meal out or getting ubereats everynight, and probably outsourcing their laundry/cleaning, etc.
A possible challenge is that some men struggle to cut their salary because their job title, salary, lifestyle is a big part of their identity. Take that away and who are they?
You know what makes cutting my salary hard? Everything is far too expensive. Kids even more so.
This type of mentality was way more common maybe 30 years ago but it’s eroding away these days
I think a part of that is being attached to things, to material possessions, to experiences. There’s nothing wrong with it of course, we are in charge of creating our own meaning, but attachment influences behavior and decreases our options.
Ah yes the frivolous attachments of rent, food, and electricity
This is a horrendously dystopian way of looking at life.
Idk, kids are pretty effective at making it clear that you are now the household NPC lol. Or at least that you’ve transitioned to a role as a supporting character.
2nd kid really hammered that one home.
mate you can’t do 60s in this situation, that’s a no-children person’s game
53 here and I’m just rolling with the punches. Hopefully these will be the good old days
I like this attitude. It reminds me of how I get through some days at work by remembering that it’s all for the fam.
Still, it will be nice to look back on the good old days (now) from a comfortable chair in a quiet house many years from now :D
It’s a fucking struggle right now, and It’s not supposed to be like this.
You shouldn’t have to work a full time job, and take care of the house, and take care of the kids. Neither should the wife/partner.
The fact that it requires two working parents at this point to afford life is the problem. There’s enough to go around even if just one parent was participating in the economy, if it was distributed more fairly.
The pendulum has swung too far on capitalism, and it’s sucking the vast majority of people dry just to feed itself. There’s a reason why birthrates have jumped off a cliff.
This. To the max. Honestly I Drink, but more importantly, I’ve made sure to learn the game that all these rich shitheads play. Wait until the market dips in January/February during the cyclical sell off, then invest. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but research, find solid picks, for either dividends or price per share growth, and invest. Honestly at this point I’d avoid the AI b******* and unless Nvidia dips down to 120 again I’m staying away. What you can be assured of is that the following things are going to happen people are going to want rare earth minerals for several reasons people are going to want to go to space because a space is awesome and b there’s a lot of potential out there and see there are certain stocks that are just always good to have. Buy a proctor & Gamble it cost a bunch now but it will essentially never be a bad investment and the dividend is very nice. Nokia drops below $5 again buy it up. Everybody’s telling me I was an idiot for saying this years ago when it was like $2 a share. Nvidia just bought a billion dollar share in Nokia and their shares shot up to $7 but more importantly their patent portfolio is fantastic and they have a very good dividend considering the very low price of entry for the stock itself.
Rocket lab. If it drops to $40 a share below f****** buy The shit out of it. It’s going to the moon, I told people that when it was $10 a share and it’s already been up to 70 this year. it’s still true
You can also feel good because you’re investing in a direct competitor to SpaceX and the plus side is the rockets don’t blow up every f****** launch. Europe is avoiding SpaceX like the plague. Rocket Labs business is set to grow exponentially, especially with the defunding of NASA.
Enroll different everybody has their own opinions more importantly everybody works in their own industry and has information and insight that will give you an advantage if you just hone in on what you want to focus on.
Cryptocurrency is a pipe dream and it’s really just a way to funnel funds without any type of transparency which is why the current regime is latching on to it.
Hedging cryptocurrency is never a bad idea. Wait till gold drops by into it.
Other than that enjoy your friends and your family build relationships and strengthen them. you may need alibis or you may need a gunner.
Not sure if this is good advice. By joining the gamble, you’re (micro-)fueling the global suicide machine that’s causing all this stress. Someone has to earn the money you make from it, and it’s usually either by destruction, exploitation or scamming.
I try to break free from all the stuff by downsizing. Second hand clothes, Repair Café, holidays at youth hostels like 40 km from my home, meeting/making local friends and very important: Raising your kids to not be spoiled, entitled, materialistic cunts.
I call it the power of No, thank you. It’s so calming to lower you expectations, switch to a lower gear and find happiness in baking a cake with apples from the neighborhood, than another, big-ass TV and a crowded flight to Asia once a year.
Having young kids is brutal though. It gets better and you’ll look back at it with mixed feelings of relieve and melancholia.its very easy to say “just don’t play the game” when you own a home…congratulations you already won compared to the vast majority of the country.
I agree (and the downvote wasn’t me), this is coming from a privileged position. My thoughts on downsizing and No, thank you still apply though.
Honestly I Drink, but more importantly, I’ve made sure to learn the game that all these rich shitheads play. Wait
So, “capitalism sucks, but I’ve got a system[tm]: Buy low, sell high!”
That’s your plan? Orwell had a horse on his Animal Farm, too.
the game is rigged, playing fair just means your stuck in the labor trap forever. you either have the capital/knowledge to start trying to work for yourself, or you stay a wage-slave for life
people really do over-complicate this whole investing thing, just operate on a wider timeline, utlize a modicum of common sense, and know what you trade. shit is easy as fuck, there’s a reason every investorbro out there thinks they’re a god…as long as it’s a bull market (money printer is in full swing) all these rich cunts across the country are just gambling with their every paycheck leveraged to the tits.
learn how the system works and you can take their $ real fucking easy, or if you want to be “ethical” you can also just read some Buffet/Munger and use the system as it was supposed designed.
the game is rigged, either learn how it works or stay stuck in the labor trap till you die.
I have a small portfolio of space company stocks and keep them as a reminder to avoid active investing.
My boring old Total Market (essentially S&P500) index funds have done much better in the same time as my space stocks.
Wait till gold drops by into it.
Every time the market spikes for gold (as it is now), I run the projections to see if I would have been better off in gold than buying equities instead. Gold has never once shown to be the better investment as vehicle for appreciation.
Gold is not win more, it’s lose less.
A hedge against inflation, and it works now because the market is stupid, imo, with the ai bubble when, not if, it pops.
I know that in itself is speculation, but i really do think market fundamentals have gone out the window since crypto first entered the picture, its seems like everything is all about exploiting anything remotely disruptive, without actually feasible foresight into where it could lead.
I wouldn’t place my bets on any individual stock/asset. You need to do a lot of research and have a lot of money to invest before that can be a safe decision. Instead, put your money in broad market ETFs, which is effectively just a bet on capitalism. Then either capitalism wins and you also win, or capitalism loses and you still win. But make sure you have an emergency fund first because not having that is one of the few ways that you can lose while capitalism wins.
Considering you mention affairs and divorce I’m going to presume you have a relationship you are not happy with.
I can absolutely relate to being exhausted after work. But it’s the job you do more than the hours. I’ve had energy after a 50hr week, yet felt absolutely drained in other jobs with just 30hrs.
Catch 22 then, because you can’t improve your relationship if you are reduced to a zombie, and your relationship is supposed to help ground you against the drains of daily life.
The ideal answer would be to talk things with a professional therapist. Not sure if you are in a position to do that. Second best is, talk things calmly with your partner and see if it is possible to cut down hours of work, perhaps move somewhere more affordable, change your job, in order for you both to have more time enjoy yourselves and your family. It sounds like you can do without, but it is important.
Can anyone handle a 60 hour work week? That’s insane.
I did it for six months straight around 7-8 years ago, and then on and off as required since.
I was fine with it when I was enjoying work and my work had variety in it - I could do my regular day with a bit of OT in the office, then go build stuff with my hands for a few hours in the shop.
At another job after that, 60s were more difficult because it was work from home, but I still did them as required because I could set my own schedule for the OT and half the time I was drinking and gaming simultaneously (some of the tasks required me to do something and wait on the computer to do compute). But still, the variety of work was key - I had to be able to change tasks and spend at least 10 hours on something that was interesting and different.
A 60 hour work week is stupid, imo. It takes up far too much of your personal time. Like anything, you can do it for a period of time, but it isn’t sustainable as it starts to eat into other aspects of your life.
It’s taken me nearly a year to transition away from a 50 hour standard week and constantly feeling like I should be working more. I had to learn how to just sit at home and do nothing, like drinking a coffee watching dawn come for ten minutes uninterrupted.
idk just sharing my experience. summary is that it’s possible short term if you enjoy it, but you need specific circumstances to be met. I was lucky my job gave me autonomy and flexibility, it wouldn’t have worked otherwise. and obviously I got paid overtime, I’m not working for free. and at both jobs I felt like I was appropriately compensated. I quit the first job when they stopped compensating me appropriately. I toned down the extra work at the second in the same situation.
*I want to add that in recent years I’ve done the 50-hour standard week because I thought the trade-off was worth it - I was being compensated fairly, getting regular wage increases, enjoyed the work environment, and it allowed me to afford a house comfortably enough (never mind that housing shouldn’t cost this much). I knew I was making a couple years of sacrifice to set myself up for the following decade at this company. Even if the work environment is worse now, I still prefer this to commuting to another job with less flexibility and autonomy.
I did 70+ pretty regularly back when I was young. Probably couldn’t sustain it now, though.
I think I prefer my horror stories to have monsters in them.
Same. Did 72.5 hours in a 5.5 day workweek (Saturday was 5 hours) when I was 18. Also had an hour commute to and from the jobsite. We paved (concrete) right around 3 miles of road that week.
Got done bought a set of tires, got home, showered and crashed for about 16 hours. Was awake for a couple hours on Sunday and slept another 12 hours then went back to work Monday morning.
I used to regularly work 55-60 hour weeks. For a while between 2 jobs then at one. After a decade or so I have a house and work 45 hours a week on average, I keep feeling like I should work more as the bills are still tough but fuck I don’t miss working more than I do. If u have to do it, it doesn’t seem as bad than if you don’t. Perspective matters a lot.
yes many do. I’m a college student and between classes and work 60 hours is pretty normal for most of us during the semester.
now once you add a social life, family, etc on top it becomes almost impossible pretty quick.
