I am no tech pioneer so a lot of these phrases mean nothing to me. That doesn’t mean I can’t learn, however.

I’m curious, which specific messaging app allows any of what you’ve listed?

The downvotes around anything suggesting iMessages is always ridiculous to me.

It really is the safest app I know for messaging. Is there some privacy issue of which I’m unaware?

Maaan. Do not fist bump your supervisor, OP!

I like your general optimism and your faith in this person, friend.

What’re the chances he’s a Fox aficionado now and would absolutely not be a good commiserating partner?

Uplifting news indeed. What happens when they ignore this order?