Hi all, not sure if posts like this are allowed here but: I’m a dad to a 7 year old on the “less severe” end of the spectrum (is that the right way to phrase it?) and while he generally lives a pretty normal life he’s recently started having trouble dealing with emotional changes. Things like:
- adjusting to changes in his schedule (like a school lesson has to be changed)
- having a disagreement with someone
- when he or a group he is part of loses at something (he takes board/card games too seriously and holds himself personally responsible for losing)
Things like this cause him to get immediately frustrated which quickly moving into anger and screaming and some cases violence. Obviously mum and I are trying to help him understand and manage these feelings but I’m worried the way we’re trying to help him with it isn’t the way he needs.
Does anyone here have any experience with similar situations or advice on helping him to manage these emotions? Thanks in advance.
My son (10) sounds a lot like your son, and in my experience my son has gotten so much better with consistent encouragement and discussion around his emotions and social expectations (e.g. it’s okay to feel upset and/or disappointed, but it’s not okay to have outbursts because of the feelings, and there are better ways to express those strong emotions). I’ve also (single dad, so I don’t always know what mom does with him) grown to taking real life situations (i.e. when I get upset, or we’re watching TV and something happens on the show that has happened to him before) and having impromptu conversations. I genuinely feel these help more because he’s more receptive and not already upset; because when he’s upset he doesn’t want to listen to anything that anyone has to say at that point.
It can be frustrating as a parent to have to keep reiterating the same messages over and over again, but I can assure you that when he gets it on his own, the pride you will feel for him will make it all worth it.
Keep it up dad! You and mom got this!