Bert is settling in! I think I am mostly over my cold.
This post is for casual conversation if you don’t feel like making a post of your own.
I’ve wasted my Saturday trying to understand neurotypicals and I’m mad at myself. Extremely simplified version:
I got asked if I wanted to witness some performance testing at work because I questioned previous tests (rightfully, I might add???). I don’t really want to, but I pop by to visit the system yesterday to just get a sense of how it’s operating. If it’s generally within parameters I won’t bother, but if it’s iffy I’ll show up.
The system is supposed to operate under a vacuum. Dear reader, it was positively pressurized?? Idk how it’s even possible but that’s not my mess to figure out. I reply back saying, heads up you might want to plan to delay the test because of [a variety of details]. People are traveling several hundred km for this and I thought it was polite. The evil autism approach would have been to show up on Monday, cackle at how it’s not working and tell them to call me when they fix it and then we can discuss if a test can happen.
I saw the reply today saying nah it’s fine?
I can’t wrap my head around it at all.
- Do they not understand? They designed the system, set the parameters and it’s been operating under vacuum for months. Too much vacuum at times! It can’t be that???
- Do they think if they say “nah bro it’s supposed to be like that” with enough confidence that I’ll believe them? Or that they can wear me down? They don’t know I’m autistic but I’ve literally never backed down on anything in the 5 years I’ve had a business relationship with these people so they should know better? (I will accept new evidence and correct my mistaken interpretation, but that’s not backing down).
- is there something in the fucking water??? Why am I the only person who questioned this or bothered to look before the test? Everyone is totally cool with traveling for hours to stand around in the cold for a few hours and not actually be able to do this test???
Anyways, I write a giant fucking novel of an email explaining point by point why it’s not acceptable to try and test the system as is, and what some possible solutions might be. 2 hours of my life. On a Saturday.
I should have just been evil.
(Kids: being paid to be autistic sounds fun but it actually fucking sucks some times.)
I have learned to shut my mouth after I have raised a concern one time. And I try to do it in an email so I can cover my ass.
Generally a good approach! Unfortunately this acceptance testing for critical regulated equipment (that I know doesn’t function as per design) and I need the rest results to accurately show if it works or not. I’m the licenced engineer responsible for the overall system.
IDK if it’s just really cold recently or I’m getting older/losing weight but I’ve been wearing like 3 layers of clothes for over a week now because I’m freezing all the time 🥶
One thing that helps, but most of us hate is lotion. Moisturizing my limbs seems to give me a little extra layer and it goes a long ways. Plus at this point in my life ie I don’t moisturize they dry air will set my legs on fire with itching.
Tired tired tired. Another specialist to get the number of and make appointments with, another ultrasound, another another another.
I’m so tired.




