So, for those who don’t know, there are many people in real life who identify as an anime archetype called “yandere”. Yanderes are “someone initially sweet and loving who becomes dangerously obsessed and often violent due to intense romantic love, frequently targeting rivals or anyone perceived as a threat to their relationship with their crush”. They will go from “deredere”, which is basically like very lovestruck, to “yan” which means “mentally sick” basically.

There is a whole subreddit called r/Yanderes on Reddit that I lurk through sometimes and it pops up in my girlfriend’s feed sometimes despite her never commenting on it and being banned from it because we are polyamorous.

Often these IRL yanderes will talk about how unfair it is that their crushes say they want a stalker partner and then get mad when they actually get stalked, though I can’t see why you would want that in the first place.

They will talk about being controlling, obsessive, and some are even stalkers like mentioned above. I heard someone found a site and shared it with people to stalk their crushes.

More often than not, because their whole theme is being obsessed with one person and that person only, they HATE polyamorous people and open relationships and some of the subs are more hatred of polyamorous people than yandere content.

They view polyamorous people like me as cheaters, ban them from the sub, and talk about how they “hate polyamorous ‘people’” and such.

They constantly talk about how they’re going to kill/castrate “cheaters” too, which likely includes polyamorous people who they view as cheaters.

What I don’t get is that I understand not liking polyamory because it isn’t your thing, or only being obsessed with one person so you are monogamous but I don’t get hating on a lifestyle that doesn’t affect you and caring about it so much.

Furthermore, lack of consent such as in stalking is not “love” or romantic at all.