This will probably be my last question here (at least for a while). My last two questions were about flirting and expressing romantic interest to someone. In short in was a mixture of: ‘Flirting is important.’ and ‘Just be yourself.’
I want to give flirting a proper, respectable shot. I want to see if this is something I can develop and get creative with.
At the same time I’m also hearing I should just be myself and let it be natural. Well, I never flirt, ever. So if I do, it will not be natural nor count as being myself.
So, what should I do? What does it mean to be yourself, while trying to change?
As others have said, flirting is a “natural”, risk-free way to show sexual interest in someone.
I’m autistic and basically can’t do it. So I just go up to people I find attractive, and say “hey I think you’re cute, I’d like to get to know you better, would you also like that?” or some variation of this. Most of the time it doesn’t work, but quite evidently by what is lying next to me, it works sometimes.
Being yourself is not about not doing the things that are required to reach your goals. You still need to do them, i.e. express sexual interest. What is meant is that you need to figure out a way to do the things that are necessary to reach your goal in a way that you can actually learn to do.