On the one hand, my father lost his dad when he was 12, so he is not perfect. I want to assume he is atleast trying his best. But this past year, “his best” was “OK with punching his children” and as far as I know, hasnt seen his grand children. (My sister has a kid. Living happy with her partner. Since sister and partner is not married, my dad doesnt acknowlege them.)
Im OK with skipping the birthday text to father, but mother (who i still talk to) insist i send the text.
I have had times when I think to myself “would I rather have not been raised or have been raised by the parents I had”. My logic being, if the latter is true, there is something to thank (in this case, via a birthday message). Though the fact your dad doesn’t acknowledge the existence of his grandkids or the life your sister chose makes me wonder how right it would be that he expects tribute. It seems as if he will suspend his lack of acknowledgement for small gains. If he thinks “[son/daughter] is not my child, I have disowned them”, do you think it would be wrong to think “well, as long as I’m not one of his kids, I hold no obligation here”?