Clarification: I’m not a native English speaker. I’ve been gaming online for the past ~15-20 years, and it feels like there has been an increase in this kind of response in the past few years. Now, I know that it’s not always serious: people started using it as ‘no way’ or meaning ‘wow, serious?’ recently.

BUT what has taken me aback is the frequency at which I’ve been seeing ‘stfu’ as a response to something I either meant seriously, or maybe said it in a light-hearted manner, but not necessarily as a joke - often as a first exchange. To me it still literally means Shut The Fuck Up, and whenever I see it, my immediate reaction is that the person on the other end actually meant it exactly as rude as I have always perceived it all my life.

Would you not take this as an offense, provided it’s the first interaction between you and a completely random person? Would you immediately feel they are rude, neutral or straight out saying it very lightly? Is the usage really changing? Do you think they actually mean ‘shut up’, and they just add the ‘f’ because everyone else does it?

EDIT: Wow, thanks a lot for your angles! I forgot to mention, but let’s assume that ‘stfu’ is the first and only response you see from this random person. I am also fine with dealing with different situations, I’m not primarily looking for advice (After ~20 years of online gaming experience, I can tell you I’ve seen most of it); I am mostly interested in your perspective: what vibe would you assume, based on only these four letters?

  • 14th_cylon@lemmy.zip
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    9 days ago

    To me it still literally means Shut The Fuck Up, and whenever I see it, my immediate reaction is that the person on the other end actually meant it exactly as rude as I have always perceived it all my life.

    even if they does it mean exactly as rude as you perceive it, does it really matter? you will never be liked by everyone. so if it is situation where you can just shrug your shoulders and leave, it may be time to do it and don’t take it too personally. the person on the other side can be 7 years old. if it happened in real life, would you spend time discussing with him?

    if you see a person with a sign about the end of the world coming tomorrow looking moderately insane on the street, in real life - do you go to them and try to convince them they are not right, or do you just shrug your shoulders and move on with your life? and why do we often act differently online?

    to be clear i am not trying to be holier-than-thou here, i’ve been guilty of exactly this many times myself, but it is at least useful to be aware of this in retrospect.

    • Dicska@lemmy.worldOP
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      8 days ago

      Oh no (yes?), I totally get what you’re saying, and I’m able to process these situations (I think I’ve seen enough during that 15-20 years of playing with/against kids), that part doesn’t bother me; what I was really curious about is how you, personally, would interpret that brief response, without any prior context.

      • 14th_cylon@lemmy.zip
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        8 days ago

        i am not native speaker as well, so it is sometimes hard to judge the nuances. in the old days of the internet there was a saying “be conservative in what you say and liberal in what you hear”. so maybe do that. or don’t care at all and just move on 🤷‍♂️ sorry i don’t have anything better.

        • Dicska@lemmy.worldOP
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          8 days ago

          While I never heard that saying before, I can totally get behind it. I truly appreciate it, thanks.