I am 27F. I’ve been wondering if I am on the autistic spectrum for a while now as I feel alien, disconnected and weird during social interactions. I’ve never been taken seriously because people see me as socially gifted. So I took an online test, not as a way to diagnose myself, but to show proof to my actual therapist there might be something to explore. I scored 154 on 200.
Weirdly, she didn’t dismiss me like other professionals did. She just said it’s a great question to ask but as part of her training she did not study this so she can’t evaluate me for it, I’ll have to ask my psychiatrist.
Now I am terrified of getting a diagnosis, the little voice inside of my head tells me “what if I am creating a whole story in my head?”
I mean, what is the downside?
Your diagnosis comes back positive? Great, now you can leverage that to access support and resources to help.
Your diagnosis comes back negative? Cool, now you know and nothing changes.
Not always… After the tests I was considered to be “broader autism phenotype”, some obvious traits but neurotypical, until after about a year and no further testing the same psychiatrist decided that yes there were enough met criteria and set a diagnosis. 🤷♂️
Then again the “some obvious traits” was enough to gain the self-understanding, just I didn’t dare access peer support.