Hey!
If there’s confusion related to the title,its just a reference that the system has won, I lost, once again.
So my paid for professional diagnosis is done for now, I am refused the official recognition as an Autist. It’s all still there though.
I am livid. And empty.
I guess it’s my fault since >40 years of adapting and masking can make you too social, that’s what it broke down to. I am friendly and open and excel at masking.
They don’t see the price I (we) pay.
Apologies for the rant. I need your support.
that really sucks. sorry it didn’t turn out in a way that matches your lived experience.
are you by chance also high IQ or INFJ?
i read and heard in autism podcasts that people with certain above average perception sometimes begun masking so well and from such an early age that it seems to others (and sometimes to themselves) that the mask is part is their core nature, as opposed to simply second nature. this is part of the effects of 2E (“twice exceptionality”; the name is problematic, try not to fixate on it)
Never heard of INFJ, thanks. Reading up on it I can relate but I am in general of a far too bad opinion of the public (aka see where that brought us) to having a drive for ideals. I do have the opinion I have solutions though. I short: I don’t think I am.
Well IQ on the high average likely buuuut measured in neurotypical of course.
The irony of it all is that I see the layers of the misunderstanding in diagnosis which again is the result of me being an Autist leading them to see me as a NT.
But communication is the bane of us. The worst part is they think they understood but they never listened to the words’ content but combined the ‘fast access symbols’ in their head to build an opinion.