Do people confuse autistic people as nice guys? Are some people uncomfortable with you because they think you are a pushover? A pushover may appear weak, but their hidden strength, quiet intensity, or restrained anger can make others uneasy.

  • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
    15·
    6 days ago

    I wasn’t really aware of my spot on the spectrum for years, and I was certainly perceived as soft/painfully shy/‘the nice guy’.

    I dunno what you mean by “afraid of you” though. My unawareness wrecked my social life, but it wasn’t because folks were afraid to approach, if that’s what you mean.

      • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
        13·
        6 days ago

        some people are scared of nice guys.

        I still don’t quite understand.

        First a caveat: I’ve never really had a long-term romantic relationship, if that’s what you’re hinting at.

        …But I did have friends, some very close, and my experience is that people are attracted to ‘nice guys.’

        In hindsight, the issue was my painful shyness, insecurity, awkwardness, and other things (and a lack of self awareness) that led to me being afraid of maintaining/nurturing relationships. Perhaps I was perceived as a pushover or quietly intense or something, but I wouldn’t say that made folks uncomfortable. Quite the opposite.

        • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.todayEnglish
          3·
          5 days ago

          I think they are mixing together two tangentially related stereotypes. Like the stereotype of the guy who calls themselves a “nice guy” but lose their shit and regress into typical incel behavior when their romantic advances are unrequited, like calling them all sorts of terrible names.

          While also the similar stereotype of the quiet kid being the one most likely to do heinous acts of violence.