Do people confuse autistic people as nice guys? Are some people uncomfortable with you because they think you are a pushover? A pushover may appear weak, but their hidden strength, quiet intensity, or restrained anger can make others uneasy.

  • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I think I get what you’re getting at.

    Being ‘hard to read’ and awkward can make people uncomfortable, especially if they’ve witnessed an outburst, retreat, or some seemingly inscrutable reaction. As an example. I catch myself putting people off with a ‘neutral frown’ in conventionally inappropriate situations, sometimes. I have a tendency to get over-excited and start talking over others or interrupting, a weird contrast to a shy/introverted demeanor.

    I also have an issue where I perceive myself as unreliable/untrustworthy, and a tendency not to reciprocate when something personal is shared. That might be interpreted as deliberate when simply I missed the cue (or get distracted by it).


    …What I’m getting at is you might be mixing up some self-esteem issues with what people actually perceive interacting with you. You might be mixing up being ‘untrustworthy’ with simpler misunderstandings. I’m speaking from personal experience, here.

    • venkman_lemmy@lemmy.worldOP
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      6 days ago

      You might be mixing up being ‘untrustworthy’ with simpler misunderstandings.

      Something along those lines. If you have difficulty communicating your boundaries, you may appear “nice”, especially if you are a shy person.

      • brucethemoose@lemmy.world
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        6 days ago

        Yeah.

        I guess I am treated as ‘unreliable’ over my weird behavior, like I’m being babied. Sometimes dismissed or ignored.


        I am wording all this really poorly. Hell, I’m still trying to figure it out myself.