Oh, I know. I learned to stop the self-criticism a long time ago and it really helps.

I am now on the offensive, I am a perfectly cromulent individual and have no trouble asserting my perfectly reasonable boundaries. It meant a huge shakeup of my social circle, as people do not usually allow others to change and grow once they have put you in a box.

Now though, I have found a circle of friends that don’t unwittingly ’neg’ me all the time.