never leave home without your lunchables

or your dinnerables, for that matter. not sure about breakfastables or second breakfastables though

so what was the job? if your boss had time to whip lunchmeat at moving vehicles… what was he paying you to do?

for some of us kids, it’s a bit easier to come by a slice of balogna than a pint of brake fluid. that said, I’ve known the many benefits of brake fluid since I was just a 12 year old dipshit in grade 7

YSK: I’ve known this since I was in middle school in 1987

dude this thing has a flashlight? you son of a bitch, I’m in

oh no, the world will find out I’m 50. oh the shame, oh the horror.

She controls his agenda. She sometimes takes decisions on his behalf.

… what exactly does “takes decisions on his behalf” mean? I’ve never “taken” someone else’s decision, afaik… but I don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean, so whatever

it’s not one really old otter going back to it’s hometown.

it is not one really old otter going back to it is hometown.

is what you just said.

Depression replaced with horror?

I’ll take it.

isn’t this something everybody knows already? it’s been common knowledge since like, forever. even if you’re a middle school dropout, live in willful ignorance and never pick up a book or periodical, you’ll still accidentally learn this fact from TV and movies

Let’s see if this link works. It’s just as fast-paced and exciting as a peewee soccer tournament

Actually, they should’ve pitted the robots against little kids. That would’ve been hilarious.

I sure would like to read this article, it seems fascinating, but it’s paywalled.

… I think I agree with your sentiment? honestly it’s hard to tell because everything you just said is delivered in this ultra-cringe meme language. I guess this is so the average middle schooler can understand what you’re saying? or is this how robots think humans communicate, so when they want to pretend they’re an “average human internet user”, they talk in this ridiculous idiotic meme codec? idk, whatever, it’s peak cringe, but ok cool comment

I’ve been meaning to check out this “nature” thing, or whatever it’s called. It’s basically like, just lakes and woods and the sky and all kinda weird shit like that. Supposed to be pretty cool I guess, idk

I’ve been ad-free youtubing since it came out in '06 or whenever that was. It’s a shame that they disabled uBlock on Chrome, I used to really enjoy my chromebook before it became spam cancer

this is usually when I would say something conceited like “lol glad I don’t live in the US” but then I realise that I’m just as fucked as the rest of the world and we don’t have a future

hopefully microplastics will invade my colon/heart/kidneys/liver/brain soon and remove me from this living nightmare, I can’t deal with this shit anymore

The couple, Matthew Nannen, 45, and Bailee Crane, 58, allegedly climbed over a railing at Inspiration Point, which is situated along a high plateau at the top of the park’s Grand Staircase, according to the Garfield County Sheriff’s Office. The couple fell and were killed.

that part’s not super uplifting, but it’s definitely a miracle that their cat survived. I wonder if they were taking a selfie…

eventually they’ll come out with a device that charges you while you wear all of your rechargeable items. you just plug yourself into a USB outlet and all your shit gets charged simultaneously

if I see one more person name their pet after a food item I’m going to vomit blood

when he dies we can finally do a Dirty Harry reboot franchise starring that guy from the RoboCop reboot… no wait, the guy from the BladeRunner reboot… no wait, the guy from the Fall Guy reboot… no wait, that’s the same guy… oh I know, the guy from the Mad Max reboot… no wait, the lady from the Mad Max reboots… no wait