Windows - not even once.

Sometimes people just want to be left alone. There’s no solution to grief besides time. You can’t materially improve this position but you can be around if they want to talk or just be around people.

Managing time and priorities is absolutely huge. You can get better at this stuff but you will probably never be great at handling competing demands on your time. I use a lot of phone timers and task lists to help me stay on track but ultimately I will always struggle. The difference with having a diagnosis was also a game changer in terms of how I felt and losing the shame of not being able to cope. On the other hand it also radicalised me and made me resentful of how I was being treated. I had long suspected that there was something unreasonable about the way people expected me to behave and now I knew why.

I began defending my choices and setting boundaries. Ultimately this destroyed my marriage but I couldn’t go on pretending to be normal and if she can’t accept that, it’s her loss. I think it was a co-dependent relationship. We tend to attract people that seek to control us (not usually consciously or maliciously but, yeah) and this is a recipe for burn out. At work it has been much better, my employer makes allowances for me and work relationships have improved dramatically. They give me tasks where I can play to my strengths and make a positive difference.

In short, getting a diagnosis has been an absolute game changer. The medication is a significant component of the recovery process but it shouldn’t be viewed as a silver bullet. Meditation and learning about the condition has been huge. I can accept who I am, stop hating myself and have compassion for myself.

LED technology has progressed massively and is now at the state where you can carry a device with the lighting power of a car headlamp but it only consumes 10W, weighs 200g and fits in the palm of your hand. I can ride my bike through the woods at night, as if it were daytime. All we need now is some technology that makes the woods less creepy after sundown and we’ll be all set.

Another big one for me is Wikipedia and the information sphere in general. I forgot what it’s like to have to physically go to a library to look something up or learn a new skill, amazing power at our fingertips. Showing my age a bit here.

What else? Computer aided engineering tools, cordless power tools, phones and computers in general, lithium ion batteries, my automated coffee maker kills it, drug technology, I like it all.

I wouldn’t be so hasty. The middle east, including Turkey, are some of the most culturally rich places to visit. In general, the Arab people are extremely hospitable. There has been civilization in the area for thousands of years and many fascinating antiquities remain. Turkey in particular has a longstanding secular tradition that was started a hundred years ago by Kemal Ataturk, only recently eroded by the religious conservatives. I wouldn’t let a few thuggish people put you off.