It sounds like your ADHD diagnosis is helping you with some introspection! I think you should discuss this with your wife so the two of you can come up with some strategies that will help you both get back to an activity that you both enjoy together.
You may be irritated at “being told what to do” because of Opposition Defiance Disorder, which is often comorbid with ADHD.
Or maybe you’re hyperfocused on your own morning routine and getting irritated at being interrupted when your wife asks you to do things.
But to me, this sounds like a communication issue more than an ADHD issue.
Is your wife asking you to take care of things related to the hike? “Can you fill up the water bottles? Can you pack the snacks? Where should we go today?” These are all things that could be planned/prepped at a different time, like the night before. Maybe doing so would be less stressful.
Or is your wife assigning you to-do list items unrelated to the hike? “Can you wash the dishes? Can you call X this week to ask about plans for Y?” Again, these assignments could be discussed or completed at a different time or in a different way (i.e. shared list with to-do items she could add for both of you.)
If it’s the latter, why does your wife feel like she needs to assign you tasks in your household? Is there a chore imbalance that could be addressed? (Is your ADHD otherwise affecting your shared household management tasks?) Is your wife more of the “project manager” and she’s the one keeping track of what needs to get done every week? If yes, please for the sake of your relationship, look into the concept of emotional labor. I’d also suggest looking into Fair Play Life. Potentially you and your wife could reorganize how responsibilities are split so that she no longer needs to ask you to do things, and thus you stop getting annoyed at a growing to-do list of assigned tasks.
It sounds like your ADHD diagnosis is helping you with some introspection! I think you should discuss this with your wife so the two of you can come up with some strategies that will help you both get back to an activity that you both enjoy together.
You may be irritated at “being told what to do” because of Opposition Defiance Disorder, which is often comorbid with ADHD.
Or maybe you’re hyperfocused on your own morning routine and getting irritated at being interrupted when your wife asks you to do things.
But to me, this sounds like a communication issue more than an ADHD issue.
Is your wife asking you to take care of things related to the hike? “Can you fill up the water bottles? Can you pack the snacks? Where should we go today?” These are all things that could be planned/prepped at a different time, like the night before. Maybe doing so would be less stressful.
Or is your wife assigning you to-do list items unrelated to the hike? “Can you wash the dishes? Can you call X this week to ask about plans for Y?” Again, these assignments could be discussed or completed at a different time or in a different way (i.e. shared list with to-do items she could add for both of you.)
If it’s the latter, why does your wife feel like she needs to assign you tasks in your household? Is there a chore imbalance that could be addressed? (Is your ADHD otherwise affecting your shared household management tasks?) Is your wife more of the “project manager” and she’s the one keeping track of what needs to get done every week? If yes, please for the sake of your relationship, look into the concept of emotional labor. I’d also suggest looking into Fair Play Life. Potentially you and your wife could reorganize how responsibilities are split so that she no longer needs to ask you to do things, and thus you stop getting annoyed at a growing to-do list of assigned tasks.