Machine learning is so good now that it can ID your face as a baby as well. Not always, but with enough pictures you’ll reach statistical certainty.

Other than that you could maybe test DNAs. On a less invasive level, if you know your blood type, you could ask your parents for theirs and see if that makes sense.

Has anyone ever doubted their parents are their parents? Most teenagers about their biological parents during puberty.

Is it possible that you were abducted after running away? Yes. Is it very likely? No. These cases are rare but get lots of news coverage.

If you’re under 40, the lack of pictures of your childhood could be conspicuous. Most parents document the progress of their kids and after the advent of digital photography there should be lots of evidence to put your mind at ease.

Your wife made the decision for you collectively not break off the relationships all together. I understand that you don’t like it. The adage that blood is thicker than water applies here on top of any other concern. And that’s why I would tread carefully in the interest of your marriage. Another folk wisdom is that morals are something you need to be able to afford. And my guess is you will not be able to do so here in the way you would prefer. While her family is at your house, you mustn’t tolerate any bullshit and you should be free to express your dismay at the protofascist state of affairs. But I would keep it at a non-shouting, non-hostile level. Your wife has spent your morals money. Try to look at it as an opportunity to change minds. If they are at your house they cannot run away, you have a semi-captive audience, in which you can sow the seeds of doubt. If there is to be another election, this is better than a clean cut, breaking off contact, and entrenching opinions out of spite on their side. Grit your teeth and roll up that rock, Sisyphus. Calm arguments and facts, tackle the ball not the player. And find a way to channel your frustration elsewhere (punching bag in the garage, walk the dog, friendly ear that maybe isn’t your wife’s, etc.).

What’s the point of doing something by executive order that will probably be reversed on day 1 of the next administration? A better way is to go through Congress whose legislation is harder to be overturned. So your hypothetical president should lead an effort to find compromise across the aisle. Currently, a fucking budget would be nice.

Given the limited power of the president, I fail to see anything more useful this particular president could do.

Fire the VP and then resign.

Preferably perpetual sleep to drown out all the news.

6 and 24 preferably.

I disagree. I find teenage super hero stories the only enjoyable ones. I don’t want my heroes to have to deal with quotidian grownup issues like paying the mortgage, having to work overtime, or worrying about their octogenarian parents. I want the biggest issue in their universe - apart from saving Earth from total destruction by a comical villain - to be the history paper that is due next Monday or how mom reduced their pocket money. I prefer the simplicity of interpretational relationships in a school setting. There is the bully jock and the nerdy girl who when she takes her glasses off becomes instantly attractive. Give me all the tropes. And I don’t need or want an R rated version of all of that.

In closing I just want to take a moment and applaud your personal growth. In showerthought after showerthought you’ve struggled with people dating much older people. And in this one you’re quite open to and positive about a twenty-something dating somebody twice their age! Well done you.

On a list of priorities, having a ballroom for state dinners and what not would not be high on mine. But as a big government whose reputation 47 hasn’t ruined entirely (yet), I can see the usefulness of a dedicated ballroom for these functions. He is all about appearances and little to no substance behind it. Some government functions are like that, even when the people running it have decidedly more substance behind it than this shriveled mandarin. I would have looked at a gazillion other issues first if I were him but I also take pride in not being him or being similar to him in any way. So let him have his silly ballroom. The construction of which will reveal either that they cooked the numbers or [clasping pearls] it was built by immigrants without the proper visa. You can rename it the Obama ballroom or something when he’s gone (eventually/hopefully) and I suspect you can pawn the gold leaf from the walls to help reduce the budget gap he’ll undoubtedly leave behind.

As I said, I’m really just making it up.

I could imagine a deranged billionaire, like imagine a son of emerald miners who used his inherited wealth to buy EV or space companies, somebody who is quite short and self conscious about it, with a small penis feeling he needs to have children in triple figures before he flies to Mars. Anyways, a filthy rich guy like that who has everything and now wants a memento of Napoleon. He’ll keep it in a secret basement and that’s where he will go to masturbate looking at it.

It seems weirdly specific but I’m really just making it up.

I think this will stay in somebody’s basement. Even if you took it apart, experts will be able to recognize parts of the jewelry even if they chopped it up, say, the gemstones that were part of it. There are probably easier ways to get the same amount of valuable materials that won’t raise as many eyebrows when you try to fence them. So either these thieves are learning that lesson right now or a mad billionaire is masturbating next to it in his basement.

NSFW

I would say for 3 out of 5 recipes extending the time will probably work but you’ll need to eyeball and needle/poke it. But if the recipe relies on the baked good to form a crust at this higher temperature, the result will probably not be as good. That’s more crucial with bread. Test it before you invite people over.

Seek professional help before somebody dies.

Thanks for the correction

This. You shouldn’t get one if you asked for it.

I would argue no one could choose one. A lingua franca is silently agreed upon over long periods of time. No committee sat down to make old Frankish the language of trade, modern French the language of diplomacy, and nowadays English the language of internet arguments.

If I had a magic wand though my vote is Klingon as well. Qa’plah.

Lingua franca is technically two words. Lingua franca refers to an old Germanic language lost to language evolution and time, not modern-day French. And using the term to denote a language that is widely understood by different people who don’t all speak it natively is perfectly understood, 20 years ago and today. The admittedly very eurocentric expression fills a useful niche because any explanation in vernacular English inevitably becomes much longer than these two established Latin words. But because it’s Latin the expression is also widely understood on the European continent as well.

It’s not perfect training data. Being encouraged to add alt text and actually doing it are two different things. Writing good alt text is another matter all together. And anything that’s on the internet is training data whether people want it to be or not. The only difference is ethical whether the scraper accepts and respects a version of robots dot txt, i.e. “do not scrape,” that communicates the training data’s holders’ intentions. And if they torrent books you can guess how respectful they are.