“Okay, I switched to Linux, now I’m getting this error message: _______.”
“Install ______.”
“It gives me this error now: ______.”
“You have to update the _____ library first.”
“It won’t let me.”
“You have to use sudo.”
“It tells me to clone the git via the command line, but git says verifying login from command line isn’t supported any more.”
“You’re following seven year old instructions.”
“They’re the only instructions I can find.”
“You should switch to this other flavor of Linux.”
Our guns were no match for their energy weapons. They disintegrated anyone who got in their way.
We weren’t sure if they didn’t understand us or they just didn’t care.
We tried to offer them resources but they disintegrated those as well.
The only thing we knew for sure was that we needed to keep running in order to survive their invasion.
We thought we would be safe in the caves, but their energy weapons made quick work of our cavernous shelter.
I was in the back with my pistol, ready to defend the children, when they broke through the last defenders.
I spent the entire magazine, but nothing could pierce their armor.
I threw my gun at them uselessly, resigned to my inevitable fate.
One of them stepped forward, extending a clawed tentacle. The small object at the end of its appendage squawked to life.
“You…are…John…Berrington… confirm.”
I glanced at my wife as her eyes went wide.
They could speak our language.
I nodded my head.
“Confirm!” The volume got louder.
They didn’t know what a nod meant.
“I confirm,” I said. “I am John Berrington.”
The silence hung in the air as I waited to be blasted to atoms, but it squawked again.
“We…have…been…trying…to reach you…about your…planet’s extended warranty.”