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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 14th, 2023

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  • Yoga in general and deadlifts are what I do. Back extension in both directions laying on your belly on a bench is good for strengthening it safely, start with small range of motion and extend it as you can.

    Remember a few things - we spend more time bent forward than back, so make sure to strengthen the back in the arched direction as well. The whole body is connected so develop it in a balanced way. And move in every direction (intentionally). That last one is what yoga is so good for.


  • It’s more like padding, I was an anorexic teen and young woman so even though I’ve finally gained weight in midlife and feel fat by my standards, people see me as thin. I’m tall, so even if I lose a couple inches to age I won’t be short. If you are very smart, it doesn’t prevent dementia, no. It just takes longer to slide from a higher point, you have farther to go, your early dementia isn’t going to be as apparent to others.

    As far as I know, only physical exercise can prevent it and only for a subset of people. Like, if you keep your heart and circulation healthy, you can prevent it if it’s preventable for you personally. Some people are doomed to it from heredity.


  • I don’t mean you can gain native intelligence, but nobody is using their full potential. I remember my mom saying that my sister got the most out of the “gifted” classes in school (I sincerely hope they don’t call them that anymore) because she barely qualified, so was challenged, engaged by the curriculum, and learned more than those of us who were bored because it was easy. Long after I was out of school she said she wished she had put me at least in a private school where you could move at your own pace. But hardly anyone gets that, in any family.

    So I think a person who is less intelligent, recognizes it and learns and trains can end up in a better place than someone who is smart and so less motivated to try, since they don’t have to.

    If just asking if I’d take extra smarts or extra looks from my starting point now? Extra smarts. I need them to hedge against dementia when I get older.



  • Where do I live? If I’m in a place where people are beautiful, slightly below average attractiveness would be perfect for the rest of the world, make me a genius.

    If I live where people are so intelligent and are ugly, please make me better looking and slightly dumber than them, I can make my way through the world just fine.

    I think looks are easier to fix, but learning can help fix stupid - I’m sure there are at least some stupid people with more sense than some smart people.



  • I do think the loneliness epidemic affects men more than women, and would argue it’s sexism harming men. On average, women are more likely to reach out, talk to people and family will check in on them if they are alone. Like, my husband (who is more outgoing than me and better at keeping up with friends) will call his mom or go up to see her, but leaves his dad alone unless he literally asks for something. Because men are taught it’s shameful to not be self sufficient, but women are taught to look for help if we need it.

    Obviously this is not a straight gender split but on average it still plays out that way.


  • I wouldn’t trust this scenario, but do have a complete inability to fly under any radar, so might be ok at being well known. Wouldn’t enjoy it at all but already people remember me, notice me and as my youngest put it, I am persuasive. So it’s hard to move unnoticed through the world, might be able to fill this role, if it’s just a figurehead sort of thing. If it involves governing, no.


  • Oof, I was not going to share my thoughts on this but: my first thought when I saw the smiling footage was that it had to be a cute psychopath, I don’t think most people could smile while they planned to kill anyone, and I was glad that if he was a weapon at least he was aimed correctly. I wouldn’t say my impression has changed.

    My gay coworker said, and I quote “ooh, hello handsome!”

    Nobody I’ve talked to has been able to dredge up any sympathy for the victim, like literally nobody of any class or inclination. All feel he killed for profit, live by the sword, die by the sword. That is separate from any feelings about the killer or vigilante justice in general.


  • I know! I am free with compliments for my friends, gay men, random women. To be fair, I also don’t see a lot of guys intentionally dressed like this man was - he had obviously thought out the outfit and it looked cool. I’d noticed it in the morning, but saw him on my way out and thought it ok to tell him I did notice it.

    I just don’t feel like I’d have been so open when younger because it’s harder to make it obvious I am not hitting on him. Even though it’s a safe for work compliment!

    Do guys tell other guys they like their hair or clothes, though? Like, do you compliment each other on the superficial stuff?