AI is clearly no match for little Bobby Tables.

Seems you’re putting too much thought into this. If you really can’t come up with one just try a random noun genetrator a few times until you find one you like.

The list of reasons filesystems are not databases is a database.

For old school RTS, Total Annihilation or if you fancy something a bit different then The Settlers II (Pioneers of Pagonia is a more modern remake). I grew tired of RTS and moved on to turn-based but Stellaris is one that recently drew me back in.

For tactics I’d say Advanced Wars, Fire Emblem and Disgagea are decent shouts. Into The Breach is probably my favourite indie of the genre, a lot of strategy packed into a small game.

If you like turn-based then Civ has always been top of my list.