Don’t forget THA GOOD SHIP MERRY GULL!

I have vivid memories of desperately trying to tell my dad that All That was just SNL but with kids, and it was hilarious. Now my five-year-old has found the All That reboot on YouTube, and I feel the pain that my father had felt.

“This!”

“Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!”

Why do they have to say the things? People don’t say the things here.

Nice pair of jeans, though…

My kid is the only one in the cul-de-sac with Minecraft. We have quite the popular couch this month.

That was honestly pretty nice of the first guy to not use piss.

I was at the Calgary Zoo last week and I watched a blonde bear being hunted relentlessly by two darker bears. The consensus was that they were playing and everyone was having a good laugh, but the longer it went on, the less the blonde bear appeared to be having fun. But the darker bears just kept going. I couldn’t help but wonder, what if the blonde bear was going to be eaten by the other bears, and he’s just trapped in this exhibit, doomed to run perpetual circles until he finally collapses and gets ripped apart by the others?

I don’t know where the fuck I was going with this one. I just wanted to rescue that blonde bear from his cruel friends. Maybe he’d make a good candidate for a housebear. I didn’t get a photo of him, but I did manage to snap this awkward pic of a meerkat.

Immigration Canada wanted proof of my wife and I’s relationship, so we dumped a packet of printed call logs on them as thick as a novel. Skype certainly served its purpose.

Alright, boys. Hear me out. You cut a hole on the inside of your pocket, put on your pants, then pull your penis through the hole so that it is emerging and/or hanging out of your pocket.

Do you recall which ones scored the highest?

I’m interested in this one also. I like the look of it. Currently a long-time Pixel user, but I’m open to other options. It will take a truly good camera to pull me away, though.

The bulb sends you his thanks.

It sucks to hear the reality of working within the industry. I grew up on Morrowind with (wholly unpursued) dreams of working for Bethesda. I couldn’t think of anything more incredible than to be a part of that, building and cluttering those environments, and possibly even writing the lore for The Elder Scrolls. I was so involved in those games. I knew how to use the Construction Kit, and contributed here and there to the modding community. I never took any actions to set me on that career path, but that was my childhood dream.

I’d still jump at the chance to do it now, but I know it wouldn’t be the experience I imagined it to be.

I wholly agree. What’s interesting in my case is that I’ve done a ton of psychedelics in my life, both natural and synthetic, and have only had a single negative experience by overdoing it. I love them. I miss them. Not really something I have room for in my life anymore. But weed absolutely wrecks me at the chemical level. I guess my mom was the same way.

Funny enough, weed does scare the absolute shit out of me, but I’m in a very small minority here. In fact, a few months back, my wife’s friend gave us some cannabis breath strips. Same brand, but different colored packaging. THC for my wife, CBD for me. Well. I was standing in my open refrigerator filling a glass of water when that CBD breath strip I had taken started to get real weird.

Flash forward an hour or two and I was laying in my dark bedroom in a panic spiral, thinking I was a terrible father and convinced that my house was haunted. I even saw a small white orb of light suspended near the wall above my fan, and I’m still not sure how it was projected there. I’ve never seen it before or since. Stared at it a good while before it just faded away.

Anyway. That wasn’t CBD.

I remember at least liking it a fair bit because it played a lot like Halo 1. I was a huge fan of the original and never cared as much for the sequels. I remember all of my friends got really into ODST, and I hated the direction it had taken the gameplay. So when Reach came out and felt comfortable in my hands again, I was stoked.

Let this serve as proof that overconsumption of Mondo Burgers in the '90s is directly linked to death.

My sister-in-law has them all throughout her house and I’m just like, “You know you have a teenage boy, right? You ready for that?”

My hometown houses a state prison, and during the overcast nights of winter, the entire township would glow orange from the lights. You could walk through the woods without a light source and see everything that you needed to, bathed in an eerie but comforting glow. I totally feel you.

Lol, I know you deleted this comment (fair), but it still showed up in my inbox. But I get it. Everyone loves that film, so I’m in a very fringe minority here. It’s weird, too, because I love the post-apocalyptic genre, but I don’t know, man. I just really disliked Fury Road.

Conversely, I really enjoyed The Northman in the same way everyone else does Fury Road. I thought it was a really fun, over-the-top Viking rampage revenge film, with cool cinematography. But everyone hated it.