Immigration Canada wanted proof of my wife and I’s relationship, so we dumped a packet of printed call logs on them as thick as a novel. Skype certainly served its purpose.

Alright, boys. Hear me out. You cut a hole on the inside of your pocket, put on your pants, then pull your penis through the hole so that it is emerging and/or hanging out of your pocket.

Do you recall which ones scored the highest?

I’m interested in this one also. I like the look of it. Currently a long-time Pixel user, but I’m open to other options. It will take a truly good camera to pull me away, though.

The bulb sends you his thanks.

It sucks to hear the reality of working within the industry. I grew up on Morrowind with (wholly unpursued) dreams of working for Bethesda. I couldn’t think of anything more incredible than to be a part of that, building and cluttering those environments, and possibly even writing the lore for The Elder Scrolls. I was so involved in those games. I knew how to use the Construction Kit, and contributed here and there to the modding community. I never took any actions to set me on that career path, but that was my childhood dream.

I’d still jump at the chance to do it now, but I know it wouldn’t be the experience I imagined it to be.

I wholly agree. What’s interesting in my case is that I’ve done a ton of psychedelics in my life, both natural and synthetic, and have only had a single negative experience by overdoing it. I love them. I miss them. Not really something I have room for in my life anymore. But weed absolutely wrecks me at the chemical level. I guess my mom was the same way.

Funny enough, weed does scare the absolute shit out of me, but I’m in a very small minority here. In fact, a few months back, my wife’s friend gave us some cannabis breath strips. Same brand, but different colored packaging. THC for my wife, CBD for me. Well. I was standing in my open refrigerator filling a glass of water when that CBD breath strip I had taken started to get real weird.

Flash forward an hour or two and I was laying in my dark bedroom in a panic spiral, thinking I was a terrible father and convinced that my house was haunted. I even saw a small white orb of light suspended near the wall above my fan, and I’m still not sure how it was projected there. I’ve never seen it before or since. Stared at it a good while before it just faded away.

Anyway. That wasn’t CBD.

I remember at least liking it a fair bit because it played a lot like Halo 1. I was a huge fan of the original and never cared as much for the sequels. I remember all of my friends got really into ODST, and I hated the direction it had taken the gameplay. So when Reach came out and felt comfortable in my hands again, I was stoked.

Let this serve as proof that overconsumption of Mondo Burgers in the '90s is directly linked to death.

My sister-in-law has them all throughout her house and I’m just like, “You know you have a teenage boy, right? You ready for that?”

My hometown houses a state prison, and during the overcast nights of winter, the entire township would glow orange from the lights. You could walk through the woods without a light source and see everything that you needed to, bathed in an eerie but comforting glow. I totally feel you.

Lol, I know you deleted this comment (fair), but it still showed up in my inbox. But I get it. Everyone loves that film, so I’m in a very fringe minority here. It’s weird, too, because I love the post-apocalyptic genre, but I don’t know, man. I just really disliked Fury Road.

Conversely, I really enjoyed The Northman in the same way everyone else does Fury Road. I thought it was a really fun, over-the-top Viking rampage revenge film, with cool cinematography. But everyone hated it.

Mad Max: Fury Road. I thought that was dumbest, most caveman pleasing trash that has ever received that much acclaim. Truly, the entire movie is designed to make a caveman go, “OOhhhH!.. WwAaHh!.. FFIIRE!.. DwWoOah!.. HaHhh!.. OOhhhH! LaDy!!..HhaHh!.. MAD!!..WoOoHhh!”

I always screenshot a million things on my phone and then purge them all at once one day without even looking.

When I was an adolescent, I dreamt that I performed oral sex on a woman by putting my entire head inside of her vagina. Turns out that cunnilingus is nothing like my premonition, but I certainly had the texture figured out.

Immigration Canada: “Prove to us that your marriage is genuine. Prove that it wasn’t for immigration purposes.”

My wife and I: “You sure you want that?”

Immigration Canada: “Make with the proof.”

My wife and I: 400 pages, front and back, of Skype call logs/timestamps. A fucking literal ream of paper

Holds up incredibly well. It’s as timeless as the Vacation movies.

I blew past this comment not even getting the reference at first, even though I watch Harry and the Hendersons with my daughter all the time. I actually got about five or six posts down my feed before it dawned on me and I had to come back to let you know.

When I see him with a beard, I suppose it’s not the worst choice. Still, this series seems as though it will be a little unusual and not something anyone had asked for.