I genuinely feel different writing here. On Reddit I constantly analyzed the 18 different ways some random person would take my comment badly. Now I just write stuff and people don’t instantly assume I’m an evil moron.

NO U SEEM RAD

I don’t like most of the responses here so I’m offer my own. Love is not found it is built.

My wife and I got married young. I’m 34 and I’ll be celebrating my 9th anniversary in under a week.

Love is where all those things come together. We have the deepest friendship. We’re weird in the same ways and we’ve basically developed our own brand of humor. I can make my wife laugh literally with a look.

Love is also a commitment to never, ever bail. It’s unlike anything else. With friends, you still try to be good company or you wouldn’t tell them the deep thoughts. But my wife and I can share anything. We’re so intertwined that there’s more understanding than judgment. We can say things we don’t like about people, about the world, about ourselves. We can be truly vulnerable.

We didn’t find love, we built it. From 25 to 34 I’m a phenomenally different person, but we’re like two planets oscillating around each other. Our orbit influences the other, and vice versa. We never would have been these people if we weren’t together. With most friends I feel like they may have some influence… But in marriage it’s just undeniable.

It’s a truly unique thing. But I will say I couldn’t understand it until I had it. And I still don’t. Dating for 4 years wasn’t the same as marriage after 1 which wasn’t the same as marriage after 5 and that’s not the same as it is now after almost 9 years. It’s always growing, always deepening, and it’s just insanely personal at a very deep level.

Kinda sounds like you have your own definition of what constitutes an “April Fools joke” and your are assigning negative connotations to it. I don’t think that’s an objective fact.

“April Fools is not [fun for everyone]” is an opinion more than a fact. I don’t think anyone disagrees with your underlying premise that mean spirited “jokes” don’t belong in the workplace, but rather your assertion that it’s a prerequisite for April Fools jokes to be mean spirited.

Also, if we are going to bring the level of scrutiny to all jokes that you are bringing… I don’t think it is even possible to design a “joke” that would pass your test.

Deadpool is to The Avengers as Austin Powers is to James Bond.

Yeah I’m a bit confused. He’s said they are trying to provide a pretty base level of education… Just enough to get started, but aren’t meant to be crazy deep dives. The labs content is a bit different, but I think it’s pretty easy to tell the difference.

I hope Christmas went alright for you, and that you can look forward to a good 2025 :)

I’m sorry dude. That all just sucks.

If I can offer a path of thought, it sounds a bit like you’re punishing yourself for being happy. It sounds like you have sort of a duality… You remember Christmas being a happy time with a lot of togetherness and love. And you also remember that it is the time when you heard this devastating news.

You might sit and try to sort that out… Both of those things in your brain at the same time are certain to drive anyone a bit mad.

But you don’t have to punish yourself for being happy sometimes. It really sounds like you have a big case of survivor’s guilt. There are pathways through that grief that may allow you to be happy and also honor the memory of a dear friend.

There’s no “right” answer, just an answer that’s right for you. You might consider talking to someone to help you unwind this ball of thoughts. Perhaps on the other side is something you can do every holiday in honor of your friend to help pay him back by paying it forward. While he’s not here, maybe you could do something extra to spread Christmas cheer on his behalf. There’s a hole in the world where he used to be - you could potentially help fill that.

It won’t be easy, but I’d encourage you to walk along the path of those thoughts and see if you can find some peace.

I wish you luck, whatever you decide to do.