I’m Australian. I say something closer to “buh”, but I introduce vibrato to the sound down near my vocal cords, rather than by trilling the R in my mouth

Not quite. I grew up with a lot of racism that took time to undo and is still ongoing.

But that didn’t impact my kiddo directly as they’re not targetted by racism.

However, I found out that I’m adhd due to my kid being diagnosed, and I was out as queer before them. So we have intersections in common that we’ve both been working through at the same time.

However, this is c/lemmybewholesome

You make a good point. I’ve deleted my comment. I was out of line bringing it to this community. My bad.

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Exist as a trans person

The first time it happened to me, was 5 or 6 years ago now, before the climate turned as hostile as it is now. I work for a large organisation, and the people I work with all know I’m trans because I’m open about it, but there are many folk who I don’t work directly with, who didn’t know about my transition, because despite being open about being trans, we simply don’t encounter each other often.

In any case, I just made it clear that I remembered him, and mentioned the project we had worked together on a few years before the encounter. Told him that I was still working in the same area with the same folks. I could see him trying to work out who I was. I didn’t lie, but I didn’t out myself. I just let him struggle to remember me.

I have no idea if he ever did work it out, because I haven’t encountered him again since.

Yep! Though now that I’ve seen that, I’ll use Data’s preferred pronunciation when talking about the character

Nope. Definitely don’t say it like that!

I don’t know, because I have no idea how the Star Trek character says it…

We still don’t know…

Is it federated/does it have social elements?

Instances that don’t have email approval, captcha or manual approval, tend to get defederated pretty quickly, because they attract spam bots

CachyOS, because I wanted something arch based due to the archi wiki and rolling releases.

My media boxes run Ubuntu, but that will change when they get rebuilt/replaced at some point, most likely to Debian

That’s not mental overload, it’s the opposite. It’s a job without mental stimulation, boring, repetitive and requires very little cognitive processing. And people doing jobs like that seek stimulation to escape perpetual boredom.

Give that guy a job that didn’t bore him to tears, and the picture would have been very different.

As I said, it’s always about hitting a threshold, and boredom is a threshold. And if an employer cares about quality, rather than the appearance of quality, they’d have designed that job differently.

I don’t often go to concerts, but when I do, I fly to New Zealand to see Bryan Adams and relive my teenage years

That’s not laziness, that’s looking after yourself and your own needs, and prioritising that over non urgent chores.

At some point, the balance changes, and you do the stuff.

And if the balance doesn’t change, and you always put it off, even when you shouldn’t be, there’s something going on behind it.

There’s no such thing as “lazy”. It’s always, always, always a word used to make someone feel guilty for hitting a personal limit or threshold.

Even if you want to work on those thresholds and improve them, you can achieve that without framing yourself as fundamentally selfish and uncaring.

That appears to be hardware, not a distro

It devinetively is caused by my quite big desire to be a woman

This is dysphoria

So becoming what i dream of is the only way of combating this

This is dysphoria

on other days it feels like an flesh made nightmare that you cant escape.

Dysphoria

Whenever the void appears, it is guarded by this huge desire to transform into a woman.

Dysphoria

that when i look into a mirror, that I cant really connect to the face staring back at me.

Dysphoria

This lack of obvious signs of dysphoria is the reason, why i am starting to think, that what I experiience is my bodys way of manifesting dysphoria.

Believe it or not, it’s almost a cliche how many trans folk describe their experiences of dysphoria, whilst simultaneously talking about how they don’t experience dysphoria.

I can’t tell you what your dysphoria means, and I can’t tell you who you are. What I can tell you though is that similar experiences to yours have been shared by many many trans folk before you.

Currently I dont really experience the typical symptoms of dysphoria (hating yourself/your body…).

They aren’t the typical symptoms of dysphoria. Dysphoria is commonly portrayed like that in media aimed at cis folk, and so it’s commonly seen that way, but I’m reality, it doesn’t typically manifest as hating yourself or your body.