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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • I don’t think his strength is within an order of magnitude of theirs. I don’t think his durability is either.

    Granted, I wouldn’t be surprised if you showed me a comic showing otherwise. There’s probably a comic where he goes inside a star or something stupid, because there are always those kinds of writers. But based on his typical portrayal, I think he’s more of a brush off a car crash and pick it up guy than a survive a nuke and crush coal into diamonds guy.



  • Agreed. His comments are so bizarrely stupid on so many levels.

    They’re not just “wrong”: they’re half-right-half-wrong. And the half that is wrong is idiotic in the extreme, while the half that is right casually acknowledges a civilizational crisis like someone watching their neighbors screaming in a house fire while sipping a cup of coffee.

    Like this farmer analogy: the farmers were right! Their way of life and all that mattered to them was largely exterminated by these changes, and we’re living in their worst nightmare! And he even goes so far as acknowledging this, and acknowledging that we’ll likely experience the same thing. We’re all basically cart horses at the dawn of the automobile, and we might actually hate where this is going. But… It’ll probably be great.

    He just has a hunch that even though all evidence suggests that this will lead to the opposite of the greatest good for the greatest number of people, for some reason his brain can’t shake the sense that it’s going to be good anyway. I mean, it has to be, otherwise that would make him a monster! And that simply can’t be the case. So there you have it.

    It’ll be terrible great.



  • Andy@slrpnk.nettoShowerthoughts@lemmy.world[deleted]
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    5 days ago

    Uh… @[email protected] ?

    I think it sounds like you might be a danger to yourself.

    I don’t know your situation, but I just want to point out two things:

    1. The belief that those around a depressed person secretly don’t want them around or would appreciate them more when they’re gone is wildly untrue. It kind of sounds like your brain is trying to convince you of this, and you should know that your brain is almost certainly lying. Lots of people know folks who are depressed that we love very much and are grateful to have in our lives.

    2. People who survive suicide attempts consistently experience enormous regret and relief that they survived. They typically describe the experience as terrifying, and report that it felt like someone else was trying to kill them.

    I know that during depression, negative thoughts can make a convincing case that you cannot expect anything to get better, but there are A LOT of people alive today who enjoy their lives who felt the same way at some time in the past. I hope that with support you can perhaps be one of these people.


  • I appreciate this answer, because it at least tries to reason from first principles. You can’t, imo, have this conversation without actually defining what we consider to be the problem.

    I think the key concern is that age – particularly during teenage years – typically correlates with a power imbalance. And the concern is that the younger person could be exploited and/or suffer harm. However we need to remember:

    1. It’s possible for relationships to have a power imbalance and no one is harmed or looks back with regret.
    2. It’s possible for relationships between people of the same age to be very harmful/regretable.

    So the questions I have are: how correlated is a specific age gap with severe harm? And what would we advise in this situation?

    I think that a 16 year-old probably has around a 50% of getting badly hurt in a relationship with another 16 year-old, and probably a ~65% chance with a 19 year-old. Because a 19 year-old can probably manipulate a 16 year-old better than their peer, but they’re also presumably a bit more experienced and mature, which can be a good thing.

    I’m making these predictions presuming that they’re sexually active, btw. Which I think is probable. But if they’re not, I think that the risks go down to around 10% chance in both cases. This is just my gut impression. So I’d just advise any 16 year-old in a relationship with a 19 year-old to move VERY slowly physically, and talk frequently to an older friend or sibling. And if your partner wants to do anything you’re uncomfortable talking about with your older friend or sibling, that’s a sign you shouldn’t do it.

    If you follow that rule, I think 16 and 19 is no big deal. Because I really want to emphasize: a lot of the risk already exists when a 16 year-old dates someone their own age.









  • Growing up, my mom owned a women’s lingerie store on the main commercial street in the heart of our neighborhood. My teachers and classmates bought their bras and panties from my mom, and everyone knew this. Obviously, this isn’t exactly the same as sex work, but I can tell you I was served well by the fact that I never grew up inheriting any awkwardness or discomfort. My mom was proud and unembarrassed of her work, so then so was I.

    Live a truth you’re not ashamed of and share that truth with your kids at an age appropriate level. You don’t need to be graphic, but tell your kids you work at a club. Tell them you’re a stage performer. If they say, “do you strip?” You can say yes or you can say that stage performances are for an adult audience and you would rather not discuss the details. But if you acted ashamed, you’re giving your kid that shame.

    As a parent, one of the most important things is that we be the kind of people we want them to be. If you want your kid to be brave/mindful/proud/kind/patient/etc. you gotta try and live it.


  • Do you mind me asking if you’re a parent or caregiver and if so what age you interact with?

    I think your take is pretty moderate and reasonable, but as a dad to a five year old I feel that trying to preserve a child’s “innocence” feels misaligned with trying to preserve lifelong hope and faith in goodness. I feel like preservation of innocence implies growing up is an inevitable process of disillusionment. Does that make sense?



  • I set up a Nextcloud home server. It was moderately easy.

    I wanted to stop using Google Drive and went looking for the most popular free, open source alternative. I found that not only is NextCloud popular for this, but you can set it up by burning a premade .iso disk image to an SD card and then starting it up on a Raspberry Pi. So that’s what I did.

    I still had to follow guides to set up remote access and security, but following the guides was pretty straight forward. I really recommend it!



  • I want to set aside my skepticism that this philosophy can be separated from misogyny.

    Even if it could, it hurts the practitioner. This is a philosophy of nihilistic abandon and self-harm. If someone has adopted a radical belief in their own hopelessness and worthlessness, and the associated beliefs that life for them can hold nothing but suffering, that person is in crisis and needs help. There isn’t a healthy version of that, and we should consider those people at great risk and in need of assistance.

    It does hurt someone. It hurts the person who is adopting these views.