I’m just confused. If you can’t choose to be gay or straight, then how can I choose to increase my attraction to others? I love and care very deeply about a great number of people, but I don’t want to make out with them or fuck them.
I get that relationships are not necessarily permanent, but they have a greater chance to last “til death” than friendships. And people don’t buy a house or raise children with their friends.
Because it’s lonely?
No matter who I meet, everyone prioritizes their SO or family over me. But I totally understand why they do so. I’m only a friend and I’m not at offended by this. They SHOULD prioritize these people over me.
But I just wish I also had someone who we would both equally prioritize one another above all else. A friend for life. Not one who will just fade away one day and you never see them again. Someone to spend my time with and to grow old together.
I’m not really sure why so many sexual people assume that asexuals don’t need to have human interaction. It means I don’t have a sexual need. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have a social need and a need for connection.
I would like to be different. I would like to be able to connect deeply with others. I would like to be like all of you here. But I can’t.
Right. I was using dramatics to make a point. I’m not attracted to “normal” people. I lack the ability. I can’t choose it and I understand it’s stupid.
Not really. Minimal sexual attraction very occasionally. Which is more than the 0 ever attraction to people I meet irl.
I don’t think you guys are understanding. I cannot force myself to be attracted to “personality”. It doesn’t work that way for me. I absolutely wish I could. I understand that it’s “shallow”. I understand that looks aren’t forever. I understand that celebs only get photos when they look their best. But I still cannot force attraction that isn’t there. I have people that I enjoy their company a ton and care for them a lot, but I don’t get attracted to them. It’s like…you don’t get attracted to your mom.
I don’t “lust” for anyone… especially not porn stars. I have the opposite problem that you’d think. I have a significantly reduced capacity for attraction compared to other people. I talk about celeb appearances because they are just barely able to register on my radar. Masturbating doesn’t even work for me. So no, I don’t have a porn addiction. I’ve only very rarely even looked it up out of curiosity and it didn’t do much.
No, I don’t think there is a hierarchy anyone has to stay within. I am simply not attracted to 99% of people. The 1% I am are ultra attractive and thus not attractive to me or other “regular” people. I wish I could force myself to be attracted to others but I just can’t.
I don’t have “internalized body dysphoria for other people”. I don’t even understand what that’s supposed to mean. That’s not even a thing.
I have a significantly reduced ability/capacity for attraction. I fall on the asexual spectrum, which is difficult because it means I am not compatible with 99% of “real people”. My only hope is finding similar people online, but it has been difficult considering the infantessimally small pool I’m working with.
I think you all are misunderstanding my question. I tried to phrase it in a general way so that it could potentially apply to other people. But you all are misinterpreting what I am saying.
I am absolutely not saying that I’m ugly. I am perfectly average looking to maybe slightly below average looking. I don’t generally like to admit any of the following out loud because I don’t like to brag. But I am fit, nice, funny, well liked, and have a very good job making good money.
There are plenty of people that look “regular” like me. “Regular” people seem to be very occasionally attracted to me. I am only attracted to ultra attractive people. Ultra attractive people are not the norm and are an outlier. It doesn’t matter how much “personality” someone has for me. It doesn’t make me attracted to them. I have been on dates with sweet, caring, funny, normal people like me. I don’t have the capacity for attraction to them. I understand that it makes me “shallow”, but I cannot choose this attraction. Many times I wish I had the capacity to feel attraction to those around me, but I cannot.
I’m good on all these fronts! Except for “social status” because I’m not really sure what that means. I’m generally well-liked though. But yeah I just can’t change who I’m attracted to. Some of us are just not as good looking as others even if we are fit and are financially secure lol. The problem is the inability to be attracted to “regular looking” people. It’s like if you were only attracted to ultra attracted celeb appearing people.
While this is always good advice, some things just aren’t really changeable without cosmetic surgery. I have a good BMI and whatnot, but I’m definitely not a supermodel. But say you’re only attracted to supermodels for some stupid reason and you can’t fix that.
While nice of you to say, it’s not particularly realistic. Some dude from My 600 Lb Life is not dating Angelina Jolie unless there is something else going on.
My supervisor is a bit of a bully at times, but it’s not so direct and frequent that I have much of a case for HR, unfortunately. Especially because I often act irrationally with her specifically when my buttons are pushed. If I was a better employee in terms of interpersonal relationships, I could potentially build more of a “case” against her. As it stands, she has plenty of “evidence” to get me fired if I spoke up.
In that particular instance, there was a miscommunication about the lunch schedule. My friend did something to attempt to be helpful, but there was some confusion and it did not go over as intended. My supervisor accused my friend of having a “conspiracy theory” about the lunch schedule, then proceded to lecture her about how much “time was wasted” in the confusion.
My supervisor actually often makes valid points. She just acts like a condescending bitch when she does so.
Recently, my supervisor at work was berating my friend over something ridiculous. I was standing 2 feet away when it occurred. I was surprised at how it oddly put me back into my childhood, reminding me of when my dad would scream at my mom and I was powerless to stop it. I ended up blubbering some nonsense to try to distract my supervisor, but it didn’t really work. It’s frustrating to not be able to protect those you care about. I guess it’s in my nature to want to fiercely defend the people who I am loyal to, but I also don’t have a way to do it without getting myself or the person I am defending in trouble.
As a kid, I would always flip on the TV for the evening episode of the Simpsons too haha! Except I swear for me it was 5pm.
Thank you for the suggestion! I have a stupid question about it…does that mean your dog has an inhaler type device or is it some sort of oral medication? Our dog had been taking oral steroids for some time but the vet stopped them in favor of increasing cough medicine usage.
I’m really sorry to hear. We’ve been told the family pet has a “collapsing trachea”. I’m assuming it’s similar. Really hard to watch such a loving being struggling to breathe. We have her on cough medicine as well but honestly I don’t know how effective it has really been.
Whatever the outcome, know that you gave him and wonderful life and I know he has loved you and what you’ve given him.
I’d be surprised if any celebrity was on Lemmy lol. It seems like it would be for everyone! That sounds pretty interesting to me!
Sometimes humor doesn’t come across well to everyone online. I thought it was funny and upvoted :)
I’m confused at how you think that living with another human being or raising children are sexual acts? Yes, you need to have sex in order to become pregnant, but the act of raising children is a totally nonsexual activity.
I don’t have “options” because I can’t become attracted to available people around me. That’s the problem. I’m not “unhappy with the options”. They don’t exist.