Ok I know you are trying to help at all and chronic headaches can occasionally point to something bad about this.
But there is a funny sort of humor that comes from telling an incredibly anxious person that they might have a brain tumor lol.
I really mean no disrespect!
Damn I’m really sorry to hear you don’t like it. :(
What did you do beforehand if you don’t mind me asking?
My mom was a stay at home parent for all of my life. In her early 50s, she ended up going to college in order to become a nurse. Been over 10 years now and she’s still a nurse.
I would say it’s only ever really too late if you’re beyond working age or nearly there. Because at that point you’re no longer working toward a career.
The real issue is whether or not you have finances and a support system to get you there.
In my mom’s case, she had a husband who already was the only breadwinner anyway, so it didn’t cause much of a financial impact per se. My mom ended up taking out student loans like everyone else, of course, but student loans are seen much more favorably than credit card debt.
I have a friend who is going back to college right now in order to get a better job. In their scenario, their parent let them move back in while they get an education.
I ended up eventually going to an intensive grad school where many of us had to move and we also did not have time to work during the program. There, I met plenty of people who already married, already had careers, etc…and yet they still managed to survive and get through the program just fine. (Again, remember we all took out loans lol.)
Then you hear online about med students having children while going through med school and residency. Sounds like hell, but they manage to do it.
But also, the career you seek should be worth it. Don’t go back to school to do one of those dumb “ingegrative studies” degree or whichever one they call it when you couldn’t pick a major lmao. Won’t net you anything.
Similarly, it wouldn’t make sense someone in their 50s to attempt to go to med school. The return on investment is just not there for the amount of effort and loan debt if you consider how many working years you have left. Yet, as I said, it was worth it for my mom to become a nurse because she never worked before and it allowed her to be able to earn a living wage sooner and with less debt. The return on investment for her was greater.
Point is, I don’t think it’s a matter of “too late”, but rather a matter of…
Wow are you me??? Do you identify as asexual? How have you navigated things this way? It’s for me…humans are social animals, right? So I have a very deep need for connection and intimacy…just not of the sexual or romantic kind. So it’s a struggle to be in such a fringe group of seemingly contrasting needs that aren’t compatible with 99% of the world.
Have you ever succeeded in the chemistry part?
So I have a tendency to get multiple hair roots that coalesce into a single bulb. Probably around 3-4 follicles combined into one I think.
That doesn’t sound normal if you are looking for comparisons tbh
Lmao so I worked at a Dollar Tree for a few months before. Shit was wild. You were expected to check out customers, stock shelves, and put away “go backs” (items that customers didn’t want) on the shelves all concurrently. Because there was never anyone working in the store bahaha
I honestly did not realize Walmart ever had greeters. They’ve always had someone at the entrance/exit. But they just check my receipt to make sure I didn’t shoplift. I didn’t realize anyone acted as greeters there. Is it the same people checking your receipt for shoplifting or no?
Also, in case OP wants to know…most stores do NOT have receipt-checkers at the exit, either. It’s just that Walmart does because it’s a store that is prone to shoplifting.
It’s unwise to jump headfirst into a body of water unless you know what lies below. Start slow.
You talk about influencer stuff. I get that being an influencer doesn’t seem to be your sole desire, but I’ll use it as an example anyway. All of the YouTubers I follow didn’t start big. They did YouTube as a part time thing while still holding their main job. It was only to the point where they started really succeeding at YouTube that they dropped their original career.
I say go for it, but start small. Don’t quit your job for this until you start doing really well in it.
Lmaooo maybe that was an intentional look then
So I get that socially in most places it is not acceptable for women to go totally topless. We can argue about double standards, but I’ll let other people do that.
What I actually have noticed is that nowadays in a lot of Western cultures, women can get away with just wearing just a bra with no shirt in public. No, it’s still not being totally topless, but it is a lot better heat-wise than wearing both a bra and then a shirt on top. Just it can’t be like lingerie, but more like a sports bra or something. I’ve done it when heading into a shop after going for a run and not gotten any complains. I see others just occasionally walking around in something a sports bra when it’s hot out, not even relating to intense exercise. Try it.
Not really related, but this is one of the many reasons why I’ve never been able to be in a relationship. I don’t feel that way about others, so faking it feels wrong to me. I went out with a guy a couple of times and felt gross doing that. So that’s about it.
Sometimes it’s frustrating that I can’t have an intimate relationship with someone that way, but what can you do? Have to go through life with the cards you’re dealt, I guess.
Hey I applaud you for putting yourself out there!
I think the fact that you’ve managed to marry and have kids is fantastic. It’s a big social hurtle that a lot of hermits never end up making it with, so you should be very proud of yourself for being vulnerable with another human being like that.
Tbh, I think over time that it ends up quite normal for people as they age to really just have their spouse and kids as their main “friends” without many others externally. So I think you’re doing pretty good on the weirdness and socialization scales haha.
But yeah I totally get you wanting to allow your wife a breather and have some other buddies to share the “social burden” with (I don’t mean it negatively, just not sure how to phrase it).
Best of luck to you!
Thanks! It’s because I’m so cool and popular! ;)
Hope you’re doing better now.
Growing up for me, the popular kids were actually also usually intelligent and got into good universities. So the stereotype of popular kids being dumb really doesn’t ring true everywhere.
Definitely not.
My mental issues developed at around middle school age for reasons totally unknown to me. I stopped talking to most people and had extreme social anxiety. I couldn’t relate to my peers, didn’t know how to speak to them, and had extreme fears of what they thought of me. I never fit into the mold of a stereotypical girl who was feminine and I never knew how to or was interested in figuring out how to look presentable/stylish like other girls would. I never developed an attraction to the opposite (or even same) sex, which was confusing and felt slightly alienating to be different from everyone. I would chant berating words to myself in my head for some reason all day when walking between classes. I pushed away the one friend I had like an asshole because I was afraid of social ramifications.
In late middle school/early high school, I discovered that there were communities of people online. I felt extremely comfortable communicating there (text only…was never comfortable with voice), and I credit those communities with helping my sanity for loneliness and also teaching me about how to communicate with others.
But I never really learned to make friends in person. Occasionally, someone in high school would try to befriend me but I literally did not catch on. Behavior like people randomly wanting to sit next to me or chat with me confused me. It is only after the fact that I realized they were trying to befriend me.
I have no idea why that happened with me. I was never bullied.
There was a group of girls that I grew up with that eventually shut me out which was very hurtful, but I don’t know that it really happened before I got all weird to trigger it. I think when I got weird, they noticed and shut me out.
Some of us just ended up crazy for no discernible reason I guess.
I get that puberty can be a rough time for everyone, but I didn’t really notice other peers having the same degree of social impairment as me. My siblings growing up did not either. I actually asked my mom not to have a graduation party for me (because I didn’t have any friends but I didn’t tell her that).
I’m in my 30s and still interact primarily online, but I would say I am significantly more adept and comfortable at interacting with others in person. In a work environment, I am totally comfortable and confident. In a party environment for example, I freak out.
Some people laugh at this sort of thing as ridiculous and I get it but…
Isn’t it exciting that people are trying to be innovative and different? Phones of the early to mid 2000s were often pretty visually and functionally distinct from one another. But since like the 2010s every phone turned into the same boring (but very functional) rectangle. Give me some spice and newness! Be kooky and weird!
I’ve always been broken in that regard I guess. How do I make vibrations feel good?
Have you looked up “contamination OCD”? That’s basically what you’re describing! I wouldn’t say it’s overly common among the general population, but it is an incredibly well known phenomenon and something that providers are definitely able to treat! If you’re not able to see someone due to various reasons like cost (totally understandable!), you might try looking up the methodologies that specifically address and treat contamination OCD.