Yay! I love to see it. I briefly looked into it this summer but then I got distracted and lost track

But at the same time, it’s the superpower. Prescience.

A myriad of possibilities. Actions. Their consequences. From your point forward. Every action you take. Sometime it happens exactly as you’ve seen it. Sometimes you’re able to see the different outcome for which you need to take a different actions. The fear. The anxiety.

What use is it to know the future, if you also have to take action in the moment?

The mantra comes into place, here. At this moment.

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind killer.

Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

Instead I will face my fear.

I will permitt it to wash over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye and see along its path.

And there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Oh. Well I’m not gonna be out that long.

I hope.

Uhoh. It really depends on how well I do and it is not well so far.

Hmm. Uhoh.

I’m out on FMLA. Am I even going to have a job when I get back?

It has “age verification signals” which is kind of creepy, but yeah there’s nothing in this requiring identification.

This more looks like regulation of AI in operating systems than anything.

It’s been helpful to recognize it’s not that it will be more stressful later, but that I literally don’t have the energy to do it now.

Well I mean helpful in understanding it. Not helpful in getting it done, or preventing the later stress.

Man I get like 2 feet tops of clay. Then it’s limestone that lacks any mineral value for miles

I don’t sulk.

I sit there stunned at the amount of things I can’t do and cower in fear how Ill never get anything done

That’s probably another reason I can’t use it. I’m already paranoid and void of any confidence.

You literally can’t make me more paranoid, and you literally can’t make me less confident. Believe me, I thought I could. Turns out there’s a limit to how paranoid you can physically be. From my baseline it’s just a slight bit more and I can’t move from wherever I sit down.

You guys can use weed?

All it makes me do is feel stupid and turns time into snapshots. Fucks up all the processing.

Yeah I’m totally not. Inside me there are two arguing ducks, one of which is in command of my body at a time.

Every

Fucking

Time.

Except Tenet? I still can’t predict it I love it.

It’s also why I’m so anxious all the time. My brain is calculating all the distinct possibilities of events based on the choices I’ve made.

I would make to-do lists, but then I get overwhelmed at the things I have listed don’t seem to match up with the things I felt stressed about.

I can’t upgrade the hard drives my stuff is stored on.

So it just gathers more and more SATA connections as it ages.

In my experience my 4th consumed the internals of 1-3

So don’t use those unless they are still sealed. Otherwise you’ll end up with dry spaghetti everywhere when you drop it

We would crash the economy

So personally, I’m not seeking the diagnosis. AuADHD is hard enough to experience, I don’t want people to also be able to use it as an excuse with me. I know my limits.

People have asked me for years, assumed I was, and when my ASD friends find out I’m not diagnosed are legitimately shocked. For 20 some years I’ve been in denial about the extremely obvious signs because I wanted to fit in.

I have a very hard time accepting anything, but I have a harder time rejecting clear patterns, evidence, external observation, and introspection. Honestly, thats been more valuable to me than a diagnosis. The diagnosis would just confirm what I know, not how I’m going to go forward.

So instead I can ask a therapist directly: “how do I stop wasting energy trying to fit in, when fitting in is expected?”

Random-incremental-search!

Or spiderweb-tree structure!

You know how in The Boys Sage uses an ice pick to seduce The Deep?

Yeah. Me too buddy. Me too. I wish I could just turn this off.