

I think comparing gender or sexual orientation to a disability is also not the way to go. Its a very different experience with very different challenges in our current society.
If what you say is true about not being anti queer, I think you should try to refelct the way you view and talk about queer people. The reactiona to ypur comments are so big/aggressive because the rhetoric you use is very similar to the rhetoric many bigots use when talking about queer folks. So even if you mean it differently, from our perspective it really looks the same / similar.
From my understanding of lemmy.dbzer0.com does not allow doxxing / public shaming of other users of the fediverse. But I could be wrong.
Tips for this kind of research: you might be able to connect different profiles of the same users on the same / different platforms by checking if they share a user name or a post history. To find more personal information on users you can check if the platforms in question had data breaches and if there is any public version of said breach.
Here is a high profile doxxing (Stonetoss) example that used these or similar techniques.