This. You have to accept your shortcomings and tell people the best way to interact with you. My boss at work is also very ADHD and about a decade older than me, but a very smart guy. So I was able to learn a lot from him. One of the first things I caught on to was when someone asked him to do something in-person he would flat out tell them that he would forget and to please send him an email so he could review later. Then he could see that in his inbox as a reminder and would keep that email maked unread until he could get to it, depending on priority level. That was when I realized that is a thing you can do and people appreciate it. It shows that you really do care and you’re commited to doing whatever it is, you just need a little help. Thing is, when people are asking for help they’re not necessarily asking for you to do everything on your own.

When my SO has tasks for me to do, they know not to interrupt me during other tasks and to make a list for me, usually through just a text message.

What I’ve noticed is with the ADHD brain, it is hard to strike a focus. But when you can it is a powerful thing and you can get a lot done in a short amount of time. When someone interrupts that, for me, it can be very frustrating. Who knows when I’ll be able to strike gold again and get all this shit done?

Be honest with your partner and try to find the best way you can to explain your feelings. Ask for help, as people are more receptive to addressing interpersonal issues when you frame it as something you need as opposed to something that the other is doing wrong.

Make lists. Write everything down. If you are hiking the next morning, come up with a plan together to prep as much as you can the day before. Make a list of things you need to do in the morning before leaving, and mutually agree on a departure time in advance. That last part is hard for me, but I promise you it is better than the alternative (leaving it up to fate).

When you have ADHD, planning is both your greatest enemy and your best ally. Enemy because it is hard to make yourself do it, but your ally because if you do it, you can get some initial stress out of the way and when the time comes to do the thing you can spend more time thinking about the thing; or, living in the moment, as they say.

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