The word that you’re avoiding here - and please don’t take this as a criticism; I have zero opinions about you or whether this word applies to you based on your post - but there is a word that very exactly denotes what you’re describing, which is “hypocrisy”.
The word that you’re avoiding here - and please don’t take this as a criticism; I have zero opinions about you or whether this word applies to you based on your post - but there is a word that very exactly denotes what you’re describing, which is “hypocrisy”.