I was almost certain I had adhd, and would sometimes think “what if I am autistic or straight up mentally challenged and everyone knows but hasn’t told me?” Cuz I was tsken to a shrink as a kid, but I don’t know what the outcome of that was or even why my parents took me to begin with. I just remember being super uncomfortable and the smell of the office.
So I setup a doctor’s appointment in my mid 30s and was told I have both, plus BPD which I didn’t know about then so I’ve spent a lot of time looking into what it actually is and that one explains almost evey single problem I have that made me seek help for. The ADHD and Autism seem to balance themselves out; the BPD puts way too much stress on relationships with other human beings.
funny comment for me to find, this literally just happened to me. had the terrible realization recently that i’v…kind of been the setup/butt to jokes my whole life, from people taking advantage of my “naivity” i guess. which is weird because… I had always sort of looked down on autistic people myself. they just seemed so…predictable (apparently I am high-fucntioning autistic, or whatever it’s called).
realizing that I myself have basically been forest gump to all these motherfuckers…very jarring realization. Had been living till now with the assumption of ignorance before malice, that most people are just…dumb, not evil.
now i realize the evil people might be way more common than i thought, really fucking with my head…
find myself reexaming all my lifes interactions, how many people this whole time that i thought were being nice werent. how can i mask effectively anymore if i can’t trust my own memories let alone my ability to read other people?
wait, i think this whole experience just finally tought/reinforced… full empathy for me? jesus. this feeling fucking sucks, i feel so much pain and misery for humankind as a whole, i don’t like it
You just scheduled a doctor’s appointment and got diagnosed with autism in your 30s? How did that work? Every experience I’ve heard of (inside and out of the US) has been quite involved
Ah that makes sense. I got the “indicators” but don’t have the time money or desire for a full blown diagnosis so I left it at that. Glad you were able to get it done though! Some people get screwed.
I was almost certain I had adhd, and would sometimes think “what if I am autistic or straight up mentally challenged and everyone knows but hasn’t told me?” Cuz I was tsken to a shrink as a kid, but I don’t know what the outcome of that was or even why my parents took me to begin with. I just remember being super uncomfortable and the smell of the office.
So I setup a doctor’s appointment in my mid 30s and was told I have both, plus BPD which I didn’t know about then so I’ve spent a lot of time looking into what it actually is and that one explains almost evey single problem I have that made me seek help for. The ADHD and Autism seem to balance themselves out; the BPD puts way too much stress on relationships with other human beings.
funny comment for me to find, this literally just happened to me. had the terrible realization recently that i’v…kind of been the setup/butt to jokes my whole life, from people taking advantage of my “naivity” i guess. which is weird because… I had always sort of looked down on autistic people myself. they just seemed so…predictable (apparently I am high-fucntioning autistic, or whatever it’s called).
realizing that I myself have basically been forest gump to all these motherfuckers…very jarring realization. Had been living till now with the assumption of ignorance before malice, that most people are just…dumb, not evil. now i realize the evil people might be way more common than i thought, really fucking with my head…
find myself reexaming all my lifes interactions, how many people this whole time that i thought were being nice werent. how can i mask effectively anymore if i can’t trust my own memories let alone my ability to read other people?
wait, i think this whole experience just finally tought/reinforced… full empathy for me? jesus. this feeling fucking sucks, i feel so much pain and misery for humankind as a whole, i don’t like it
You just scheduled a doctor’s appointment and got diagnosed with autism in your 30s? How did that work? Every experience I’ve heard of (inside and out of the US) has been quite involved
It was more than just a single appointment for the whole process but the first one gave enough indicators to have them send me to see a specialist.
Ah that makes sense. I got the “indicators” but don’t have the time money or desire for a full blown diagnosis so I left it at that. Glad you were able to get it done though! Some people get screwed.