Lemmy claims decentralization, but once you join a community on one instance you’re still subject to that instance’s rules and moderators. Being banned from c/community@instance still means you can’t post there unless you make a new account elsewhere. That isn’t real decentralization, it’s just fragmentation where every instance ends up replicating the same centralized moderation power in a different place. Federated instances don’t stop this, they just scatter the same problem across multiple servers. If the goal is escaping centralized control, the reality is you still get banned, silenced, or cut off the same way, the only “freedom” is signing up somewhere else. That’s not decentralization in practice, it’s decentralization in name only.
That’s what your subscribed feed is for…
It doesn’t need to be the best fitting instance possible. It just needs to be an instance that lets you use and interact with the fediverse in a way that works with you. That’s why a lot of people use generalist instances. They’re no ones “best fit”, but they are also less likely to be bad fits for folk…