Really, you go vent about your depression and they’ll steer away from you.
If you “complain too much”, you’re seen as weak
“I cannot cry, because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life” - Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You
These lyrics really resonate with me.
I have to hide my true feeling in front of everyone…
They’ll call you a “crybaby”
I remember that when I was new in this country and I get bullied by classmates, INCLUDING FROM PEOPLE OF MY OWN ETHNICITY, because I didn’t speak the language at the time.
I was like 8 year old at the time.
I’m supposed to “be a man”, society says, I can’t even show emotions to the closest family members.
Society taught me that I’m supposed to hide my emotions.
Literally a few days ago I was like “why is this world so cruel”, didn’t even cry, just said it in a sad tone… then my mom just start reminding me “how much she sacrificed for me”… I mean sure, I’m grateful for the material support, but you’re using emotions to smother me to death…
The world truly is a depressing place, and it makes perfect sense to feel sad about all the suffering going on. That said, your chemical makeup in the brain can certainly affect how you perceive them, making the sad things seem even sadder, and the other things seem more empty and meaningless. I speak from personal experience.
I think this is also more of a thing in cishet male spaces. In my experience other kinds of people are more happy to be emotionally available and comforting.
Also a quote I saw somewhere about friendships
Deep friendships form by people knowing personal things about one another. Most people are too scared to share anything truly important or private with others, and thus most people don’t develop deep friendships.
Long term : you gotta get some friends. It’s hard if yr an adult. Fuck. The nicest people around are trades people. Carpenters plumbers painters like that. Get in with them. That’s the best I got. (And avoid engineers. I speak as an engineer from a family of engineers)
I kinda wanna just go on Language Exchange platforms and like talk to my Cantonese/Mandarin speaking compatriots lol
I speak native-level English so I’m pretty sure I can find a bunch of people willing to talk to me, and I can practice my knowledge of Chinese xD… and maybe disassociate the trigger of “Hearing Cantonese = Oh Shit, is mom nearby” because omg literally I hear Cantonese and my heartbeat goes up through the roof. I could use some desensitation by forming actual positive experience with the language.
Most “Friends” are really just “Acquaintances”
Really, you go vent about your depression and they’ll steer away from you.
If you “complain too much”, you’re seen as weak
“I cannot cry, because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life” - Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You
These lyrics really resonate with me.
I have to hide my true feeling in front of everyone…
They’ll call you a “crybaby”
I remember that when I was new in this country and I get bullied by classmates, INCLUDING FROM PEOPLE OF MY OWN ETHNICITY, because I didn’t speak the language at the time.
I was like 8 year old at the time.
I’m supposed to “be a man”, society says, I can’t even show emotions to the closest family members.
Society taught me that I’m supposed to hide my emotions.
Literally a few days ago I was like “why is this world so cruel”, didn’t even cry, just said it in a sad tone… then my mom just start reminding me “how much she sacrificed for me”… I mean sure, I’m grateful for the material support, but you’re using emotions to smother me to death…
I’m inches away from the edge of a cliff.
MOM: BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM AFRAID
Real friends take care of you when they see you depressed (I would know). Great way to tell who is who.
I’m sorry you’re feeling depressed :(
The world truly is a depressing place, and it makes perfect sense to feel sad about all the suffering going on. That said, your chemical makeup in the brain can certainly affect how you perceive them, making the sad things seem even sadder, and the other things seem more empty and meaningless. I speak from personal experience.
I think this is also more of a thing in cishet male spaces. In my experience other kinds of people are more happy to be emotionally available and comforting.
Also a quote I saw somewhere about friendships
Short term : drugs, opiates
Long term : you gotta get some friends. It’s hard if yr an adult. Fuck. The nicest people around are trades people. Carpenters plumbers painters like that. Get in with them. That’s the best I got. (And avoid engineers. I speak as an engineer from a family of engineers)
I kinda wanna just go on Language Exchange platforms and like talk to my Cantonese/Mandarin speaking compatriots lol
I speak native-level English so I’m pretty sure I can find a bunch of people willing to talk to me, and I can practice my knowledge of Chinese xD… and maybe disassociate the trigger of “Hearing Cantonese = Oh Shit, is mom nearby” because omg literally I hear Cantonese and my heartbeat goes up through the roof. I could use some desensitation by forming actual positive experience with the language.