Leaving my therapist last session she told me I should look into what a “low demand lifestyle” was. My first thought was “f u, no???” and my second thought was “okay but how do I actually incorporate these things?”
I would be grateful to hear how folks of all support need levels have incorporated this concept into their lives.
In my particular situation I have a huge amount of autonomy in my life so most of my struggles are from self demands. It’s a lot easier for me to act on demands from others (so long as I agree they are good demands, things that make sense or that I don’t really care about but care about the person asking so I can do it without too much resistance).
For me personally, I find that every time I have to make a decision, that’s a demand. Low-demand, therefore, involves limiting the amount of decisions I need to make - pre-planned meals, a pre-curated selection of apps on your phone and/or PC, etc.
Oh yes, I feel that way also. Thank you for sharing.
I think when I was at my best I was doing these things. It was a coincidence that what I had going on in my life (specific sports) is what caused me to meal prep, have very regimented workout schedules, sleep times etc. But looking back it was probably self perpetuating: I didn’t have all these demands so I had the energy to do all the things and in turn ate better, slept better, took better care of my body all which increased my stamina.
I’ve been avoiding the regimented lifestyle thinking it would be more restful to just go off vibes and whims but this might be one of the problems.
I remember back in high school, hearing how some classmates filled up their metaphorical plate with activities. After a full day of school they’d have clubs, extra-curricular classes, sports, sometimes jobs. Just thinking about their lifestyles makes me anxious. I can understand wanting to set yourself/your kid up for success, but having a bit of down time can be just as crucial to developing one’s self.
Personally, I enjoy a number of hobbies, but none of them are requirements. That’s what makes them work for me. I like that I can pick up and put down the scarf I’m knitting when I feel like it. I like that I can paint if the fancy strikes me, but I’m under no obligation to complete it (and every bit of practice helps.) Every so often I’ll complete something, and that definitely feels good. But keeping them in the realm of “optional” goes far toward letting me create without feeling pressure about it.
As to low-demand lifestyles, I think a lot of people here have already said some great ideas. For me, I dedicate a lot of time to myself. I feel most demands from other people, but when I’m alone I can breathe. Yeah, my apartment’s not sparkling clean. Yeah, some days off I won’t shower. Maybe I’m late to take the trash out, or I tolerate some light hunger because I can’t be arsed to cook something yet. I eventually get around to these things, I just do so in my own time. Executive function difficulties can be as much a spectrum as autism itself, though, so your mileage may vary.
If something’s really important, I’ll set up multiple alarms (as others have stated.) I have to repeatedly be reminded when I have obligations some days, lest I slip into the timeless void and realize too late that, oh snap, the bank (or whatever) is closed. I also have an aversion to alarm sounds, yet that helps me too - I’m more likely to remember to do a thing just because I want to avoid having to hear my alarm.