Sounds like an old guy from the 50s, who still clings to 50s social mores and stigmas, unaware that being a single mother isn’t the massive taboo he remembers it being.

Checks Hardy Billington’s Wikipedia page

Born 1952 or 1953 (age 71–72)

Aaaaaand there we have it. Not sure why his exact birthdate isn’t known. In fact the only notable thing on that page is about him expressing opposition to another child marriage bill that was proposed last year. Imagine having “strongly endorses child marriage” as the one and only legacy from your 70+ years of life. Gross.

Did you date my former coworker? I used to use a chartreuse coathanger because it was the only one of that color, which made it easy for me to spot. One day, as I was putting my coat away, this coworker started talking as if we were already mid-way through an argument. “It’s so green. I don’t know why you said it’s yellow.” Huh? I had no idea what he was talking about at first. I asked if he meant my coathanger, and I responded that I didn’t know what color it was. (I didn’t know what “chartreuse” meant yet.) He ranted on, claiming we fought about it once before, even though this was the first time he’d even talked about my coathanger. It was bizarre.

I think that guy had something psychologically troubling going on. I’d also seen him: ask a question, make up an answer for that question, then immediately proceed to believe the answer he made up with 100% certainty. The question? “How do those Magic Eraser cleaning sponges work?” His answer? “They use paint.” I asked how it could possibly match the color of every surface it’s used on, but he insisted his answer must be right. Truly magical thinking.

I also saw him watch an ad for a random product, then promptly declare that he needed that product. I had always thought of ads as something to tune out, but he legit followed them as if they were friends giving advice. I had never seen anything like that.

If someone asked the latter question, I’d think they’re concerned for my well-being.

If somebody asked the former question, I’d think they’re stalking me.

In this context, DV probably means “domestic violence.”

I’d respond back that a person stuck walking on a narrow ledge seems fine, too. Nevermind that the slightest push could destroy everything. Nevermind that the wind can be pretty strong up there and it never seems to stop. Nevermind that the person may have only just now realized that not everybody lives their whole lives fighting to keep their balance, and that they actually can reach out for help.

Imagine if rescuers finally arrived and said, “They’ve made it this far. They must be fine,” and left. How heartless would that be considered?

I wish I were surprised to hear that a woman’s experiences were dismissed by medical professionals. Unfortunately, I understand it all too well. I’ve developed an annoying habit of explaining things that nobody asked about, in anticipation of being treated with mistrust. It’s yet another habit on the long list of things I have to be perpetually mindful of whenever I’m interacting with anybody (except my closest friends, who by and large are fellow ADHD/autists.)

Basically: if request, then reject.

Sounds like they were inspired by U.S. health insurance companies.

Yes, this professor reacted well. That’s not relevant to my point. There are tons of people who would not react well if ambushed by a room full of people who may or may not be making fun of their psychological issue.

These students are also having this behavior reinforced by this positive attention. Is it truly “reading way too much into it” to consider what unintended harm this can cause down the road?

Is it too much to consider how people who struggle with serious mental health issues, such as phobias, could react disastrously poorly to even a “cutesy” stunt like this?

Is it too much to think how lucky these students were to have a professor that DID react positively?

If looking at this situation through an ethical lens is “reading too much into” it, then I guess I read too much.

Let me get this straight. A bunch of college kids learned their professor’s phobia, and they thought they could … try exposure therapy on him, I’m guessing?

Without his consent?

Or the guidance of a licensed professional?

Or are they making fun of him, for some reason?

… and that is “wholesome”?

They are lucky their professor was a good sport about it. For some people, this could be dangerous, no matter how cute the costumes are. And now these students are going to walk away from this thinking it was a good idea.

How many might reference this moment in the future while downplaying somebody else’s fear?

How many will think that because this went over well with this professor, that they can pull a similar stunt with someone else who has a phobia?

I’m glad everything worked out well here, but I fail to see what’s supposed to be wholesome about this. Not everyone is capable of tolerating something related to their phobia, and doing this at his workplace without any prior warning is cruel. But mostly, I worry about the message this sends to the students.

There are enough “armchair psychologists” out there with no training, who think they know how to cure random strangers. People with mental health issues, including phobias, already have to deal with people who downplay their experiences all the time. This stunt carries the same energy as “Everyone makes up allergies just to feel special, so I’m adding peanuts anyway.” Like this guy’s phobia can’t be serious, so it’s okay to casually force him to face it.

And I know I might get downvoted for it, but I just can’t agree with that idea.

A smile? It looks like a wince or a grimace to me. As a teacher, he has to keep his composure around his students, and sometimes that means sucking up one’s discomfort and playing along.

Though maybe he looks happier in a better resolution and it’s just potato quality on my phone?

You know what’s wild? This is the first time I’ve ever heard of men doing roller derby. I mean, I’m not surprised that men do it, I’m just surprised that I’ve gone my whole life up to this point and never heard of/encountered/or met men that do roller derby. Are all-male teams common in the sport?

Shortly after entering adulthood, I lost a close friend. He was still in college at the time, a talented, friendly, bright light snuffed far too early. He was well loved and his funeral was so packed that it was standing room only. One attendee described it as “the most depressing class reunion ever.”

His loss has never left me.

Right before I got the phone call telling me the news, I had been feeling extremely down about myself. I was crossing my work parking lot (which I had to do regularly as part of my job) without looking up for moving cars, thinking that if I got hit, it wouldn’t have mattered.

But that same day, my phone rang. It was a mutual friend, and through obvious tears and a quavering voice, she told me, “John is dead!”

With that, everything changed.

I’ll never forget how much it hurt to lose somebody so important to me. The idea of purposely putting my friends through that has kept me going more times than I can count. I have to remind myself, even in my darkest, most self-hating moments, that I’m more important to others than I realize. I can’t imagine John would have known just how much of an impact he had made on others, but I saw the proof. I felt the pain. I love my friends and family too much to entertain the thought of making them attend my funeral. And so I push on, but with one change:

I now make a point to explicitly tell my friends how much they matter to me.

It’s been years since I’ve crossed the Canada/USA border, so things may be different today. But when I went, the Canada side was more concerned about smuggled weapons, while the USA side was more concerned about smuggled drugs. Still, it doesn’t take much to trigger a border patrol search.

Apparently if you go from New Brunswick in the morning, spend the day driving through Maine/New Hampshire/Vermont, and cross into Quebec the next day, that’s suspicious enough to get detained for several hours and to have your entire car searched at the border. To me it just made sense to do a straight line drive through those states, since staying inside Canada between those two points would have been a much longer, more convoluted route. Silly me, being logical about my route without considering how others break international law.

“Time to lie in bed and do nothing for a few hours” ?

I’ve mentioned this before in other threads that seek a women-centric Lemmy option, but there was at least one secret community on Reddit like that. Invitees’ post histories were vetted before an invite was sent, both to find women specifically, but also to prevent trolls.

I don’t know exactly how they did it, all I know is that I got an invite one day and found the most open, comforting community I’d ever seen online. It was a place where we could talk about anything from silly stories that made us smile, to complaining about specific issues with bras, all without fear of trolls hijacking the thread, or turning an ordinary thing for us into something sexual.

I miss it.

It’s called “being an ally,” and it’s far more productive than faking outrage and borderline-doxxing people we disagree with.

Here we are 16 or 17-year-old girls showing up to these random college guys house.

Oh man. It’s scary how normal this is treated. I remember having friends with “older boyfriends” and I always felt really weirded out by it. Yet when you’re a kid (or teen, in this case) and your friends act like it’s normal to want adult boyfriends, you’re put in a really awkward position. I wasn’t able to fully articulate or even comprehend everything fucked up about it at the time, but as an adult looking back, holy shit. There’s an entire hidden social ecosystem where being groomed is not only considered normal, but can be seen as enviable by peers.

One time as a kid, a friend lent me her glasses (I never needed glasses, but I always liked them) and I went to climb a tree. In the tree, looking down, the glasses made it seem like I was much closer to the ground than I was.

So I jumped.

It was extremely stupid. There was a point during the fall when I felt like I should’ve reached the ground already, but I hadn’t. In the end I was fine, the glasses were fine, and my friend thought it was funny. But wow, that could’ve gone disasterously wrong.

That’s what you get for not buying the very latest edition of the textbook. /s

Seriously though, you’re clearly trying to actually comprehend the material, but even the professor was too checked out? I wish I were surprised, but that’s just upsetting. Nobody takes responsibility for education anymore, not the instructors, not the administration, and none but maybe a handful of students who get zero support from either of the above. I’ve learned more from reading on the internet for free than I have from any classroom. But learning for free on one’s own doesn’t give someone a fancy paper that attracts employers. Gotta spend money to make money, yet again.

You’re right. The illiteracy is everywhere. It’s a very troubling sign.

I wonder, were there any other points in history, post-literacy, where a significant amount of people went to school yet still lacked literacy skills? If it has happened, would it even be recorded? Or is this aspect of modern society truly novel?

It’d be nice to know how such a situation would’ve been rectified in the past, but I get the feeling the solution would be the same thing I’ve been calling for since my own childhood - a comprehensive public educational system with a focus on critical thinking.

They probably didn’t link it by default because of Rule 4. However, I think there should be an exception when other users ask for links. (Maybe the rule should be, “No unsolicited self promotion”?)

For the record, I would also like to see this rant.