It’s somewhere on Pornhub, probably

Now I’m picturing Bob Ross painting Uranus.

I quit a job in part because they started edging the line of ethics every day, and I reached a point where any day I could be asked to do something unethical, and not wanting to be put in that position, I decided to quit without giving advanced notice, just an email one night where I highlighted reasons for it.

The HR guy emailed back, accepting my resignation, but included a dig that it was “also unethical” to leave without giving 2 weeks notice. 😂 Dude, 2 weeks is a courtesy. If the company had responded to issues earlier, perhaps I would’ve considered staying another 2 weeks. But we were being asked to do things that may even have been illegal, and I was not about to stick around until something went wrong.

I’ve got a friend who throws great parties. All around the house, she has dishes and cups filled with pre-rolled joints anyone could just pick and light up.

I’m excited to go to her birthday party coming up.

It sounds like you’re doing well on learning your adult skills. You should be proud of the independent things you’re learning to do! I like that you reward yourself for doing things, even if others don’t - that’s a part of the “self care” that a lot of older adults have to teach themselves.

Yes, it’s normal for those on the spectrum to not line up with their age bracket. I was the opposite as a kid, always seeming older than my age. Nowadays (in my mid-30s) I’m often mistaken for somebody much younger. I often find adults to be tiring and boring, but children are full of curiosity - just like me.

It took decades to learn the social skills and emotional regulation that I didn’t have in my youth. I imagine you’ll probably learn a lot over the coming decades as well. Don’t worry too much about matching with your age - getting along with people who are different from you is a special trait. When I was your age, I was the youngest person in my workplace, and my favorite coworker was the oldest person there. At first I felt weirded out by people my age (since I wasn’t into partying and drinking and drugs, like they were.) But I’ve grown to understand them, even if I never got into their lifestyles.

Coloring is an activity that many adults have gotten into as of late as well, or at least that people talk about more. My girlfriend has coloring books. When we’re together, we often get creative and do crafts, but she has the coloring books for when she wants something that requires less cognitive energy (you don’t have to plan out as much on a coloring page than when drawing from scratch.) If that’s what makes you happy, go for it! They make adult coloring books for a reason.

I’d also say, you don’t have to give up on your dreams of being an educator. However, taking the time to learn life skills for yourself is a prerequisite. I work with autistic preschool and young elementary school age kids today, but I wouldn’t have been able to do this at your age. The years of learning how to handle myself mean that I can now “pay it forward” for the kids I work with, to teach them things that I had to learn the hard way. Learning psychology has gone a long way as well, as I have more knowledge of techniques that help guide little ones toward the right decisions.

Anyway, my comment’s kind of all over the place, but I have to leave for work in a few minutes and just wanted to reassure you. You sound ordinary for a fellow spectrumite. Keep doing what makes you happy, but keep educating yourself as well. Good luck. :)

Don’t they already have shadow profiles on all of us, even if we don’t use Facebook? I long ago figured that they’re able to get ahold of all the info they want on us without our consent. Is tracking our habits and relationships not enough? Even if the idea is to use this as age verification, I highly doubt Facebook’s as clueless as to not have a ballpark estimate on all of us by now. (Or did the introduction of AI break things so bad that they can no longer deduce the sort of data they want? Hey, I can dream.)

This is what sold my friends on meta.

I haven’t been to Facebook in a while, but I do remember it mostly being shit. I guess some things haven’t changed.

Off topic, but I want to say that I appreciate you explaining your downvote. Some of the downvotes on here seem entirely senseless and definitely make one wonder, “Why would anyone downvote that?” When people explain their reasoning, not only are they contributing to Lemmy in a more constructive way, but it helps other commenters gain perspective. Thank you for adding your thoughts.

And of course especially in moments in high emotion everyone is TALK TO ME

Ugh, this is the worst. Like, I don’t want to appear snippy to those who are trying to help me, but insisting I talk in that moment is going to guarantee “an attitude” in my tone and words that don’t make sense (and that I can’t explain in the moment.) As well, every word I utter will feel “wrong” in my heart, only being emitted due to coersion, soon to be followed by regret. All because language production in my brain has checked out - my mind’s too fogged to edit my speech properly, and I can’t access the words that fit appropriately. So any word salad that comes out will be more confusing than silence.

Then when my tone is off, I feel bad for making other people feel bad, and it’s a vicious cycle of stress and self-disgust.

After the event mentioned in my last comment, the upper management directly asked how they could help me in those times. I said, “Don’t try to make me talk. Instead, get me somewhere where I can be alone for a few minutes.” So that’s the plan in place now.

It especially sucks when there’s only a particular energy range in which you can control your tone and volume. If I’m too tired, distracted, or stressed, people think I’m upset at them. If I’m excited (usually when around a friend I’m in-tune with), I become too loud. I often don’t notice these changes. When I’m excited, I appreciate someone politely informing me that I’m being too loud. But when I’m stressed, I don’t have the mental bandwith to modulate my tone. Harping on me about it, or holding it against me, is only going to escalate the issue.

I’ve learned to outright tell people, “Don’t worry, I’m not upset at you. I’m just stressed.”

Unfortunately, when I’m past my limit and I desperately need help, I can barely communicate at all. This came up a few months ago at a new job. I was having a shut down and barely squeaked out an, “I need help” while looking at two managers. They looked me in the eye, then completely ignored me. After that I took heavy breaths to try to regulate myself. Unfortunately, the managers mistook my behavior for impatience (they even called my breathing “huffy”), and shortly after they wrote me up for “unprofessionalism.”

I was so upset, when I went home I wrote my perspective of the situation. I even included a comic that illustrated what it’s like in my brain when I get overwhelmed. I presented it to the top management in my center in an emotional roller coaster of an essay, where I explained that I can’t always control my tone, and how I can lose the ability to speak if the stress gets too high. Thank goodness, they were receptive!

Later that same week, we had a meeting with the entire center. The topic was “Professionalism.” At first, my heart sank, expecting to feel horrible all over again.

But to my incredible relief, “helping a teammate who’s struggling” was highlighted as a core pillar of “professionalism.” I was shocked to be vindicated. I’ve never had someone stick up for me like that, it’s still kind of hard for me to believe it happened.

if you ask in a tone of voice that sounds like you are asking because you are impatient

I don’t want to hear this crap in an autism community, and I doubt I’m alone in feeling that way.

We are well aware that our “tones” are misinterpreted. We frequently either cannot recognize or regulate our tones of voice. For some of us, this lifelong issue has hurt us to the point of trauma. I can still hear my mom, denying me because, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it,” while she’s still unwilling to admit or unaware of the fact that sometimes, changing my tone is an impossible task.

I don’t want to be upset, but this is absolutely a sore spot for me. I’d be shocked if I were the only one here that gets triggered by this ableist talk.

Sometimes I debate on making a comment, and sometimes I simply don’t have the energy to complete one. But sometimes, I think, “every comment grows Lemmy a little bit more” and decide, fuck it, I’ll say something. People might like it, people might not like it, but you never know what can grow from such a little spark.

I appreciate Lemmy in this regard. We live in a world with many voices trying to drown out each other for a bit of public attention. It’s enough to make some people think their own thoughts aren’t worthy and to stay silent, discounting their potential contributions. Having a platform that’s low-stakes, where people aren’t chasing internet fame, gives many of us an opportunity to express ourselves for the sake of expressing ourselves. Having this outlet is vital for many of us. I’m glad to be a part of this community, and it is truly a community. I have no idea if anyone recognizes me, but I definitely recognize other frequent commenters. It’s almost like we’re neighbors, not in physical proximity, but with a shared gathering space to meet and share our thoughts.

And I love that.

Also not a tech person, but I am an artist. I used to consider going into digital art, but now I’m grateful I didn’t and instead have honed … I guess you can call it “manual” art? As a way to say things I make with my hands? Maybe “analog” or “traditional” art?

Point is, I haven’t seen an AI create a pencil drawing or an acrylic painting. I get the feeling that as people tire of AI generated images, they may find renewed interest in these distinctly human-made art forms. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see. For now, AI may try to steal forms and ideas, but picking up a pencil or a paintbrush and creating something on a canvas are still out of its reach (thank goodness.)

Sounds like we’d get along. I like to say I’m fascinated by everything, except sports and celebrities. (Though I do have a fondness for certain voice actors in US animation, simply by consuming so much of the medium.) As to fashion, modern fashion isn’t interesting, but historical fashion is pretty cool. I didn’t think I’d be into historical architecture until I inadvertently took a class that included it in high school.

I asked this same question to my older coworkers back when I was 20. The main answer I got was: travel, travel, travel! “Travel before you have kids.” “Travel before you start a long-term career.” “Travel before you buy a house.”

Naturally, being a Millennial, all three of those things became non-issues. 🙃

So let me give some advice for the ages instead, regardless of what the future may hold for you:

• Never stop learning

• It’s okay to not know what you want to do with life

• And, especially in a post-truth, AI-infested world, question everything!

Take the time to learn what logical fallacies are (at least the common ones.) You WILL encounter them, and knowing when you or someone else is using faulty logic can keep you from harm, whether it be from another person (like what we see in politics) or from yourself (like the “Sunk Cost Fallacy,” which might otherwise lead you to stick with bad jobs, bad relationships, and more.)

Tangentially, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Nobody knows everything. Anyone who expects you to know any given thing (unless you’re known to have studied it, of course) isn’t someone worth the admiration of. People with realistic expectations will see you as genuine, and being genuine can carry you far.

I could probably think of more if given the time, but those are the most important things off the top of my head. I’m open to questions in the comments; I’ve lived quite a peculiar life, so I’ve got a range of experiences, from being a homeless vandweller, to being a pilot, to pivoting 90° to working with kids and making art. I’m more than happy to answer any questions that might help people out!

That’s also possible. I like your phrasing much better.

Every time school gave me an essay or project about “Where do you see yourself in X amount of years?” I’d freeze. How on earth am I supposed to know that?! I don’t know where I’ll be next week, or next year, I can’t know where I’d be in 10, 20, or whatever arbitrary number they assigned.

I never completed one of those assignments. My brain just couldn’t comprehend it. The future is a vast open space that I’m constantly stepping toward. I can’t see what’s there. Planning for long-term has always caused me problems. I couldn’t decide on a major for college and didn’t end up going until I was 22 (and I dropped out a couple years later.)

I absolutely, 100% agree with the “nearsightedness of the future” assessment. I’m just strolling through life, living with what comes. I recently signed a 12 month lease, and that’s the farthest I’ve planned ahead in a really long time.

Lol, wut?

And the etymology of “nice” is that it used to mean “foolish, ignorant, frivolous, senseless”. Does that mean that saying, “Have a nice day” is to tell people to be foolish?

Of course not. Meanings evolve, and if everyone understands “homicide” as meaning “killing a human” (gender-neutrally), then that’s the wisest way to interpret it today, regardless of what it meant when it was first coined in Latin.

By their logic, I’m hoarding Thanksgiving leftovers by planning to eat them over the next couple days. How dare I not go out and buy new food when I already have good food to eat!