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I hate how people have to get a diagnosis in order to get any slack for not being exactly like everyone else. Screw you people, this is who I am. Turn the damn light off.
If it makes you feel any better, the diagnosis doesn’t really help this. It’s just less ‘you don’t even know for sure you’re x’ and more ‘stop blaming your x for everything’.
Oh, I know. I learned to stop the self-criticism a long time ago and it really helps.
I am now on the offensive, I am a perfectly cromulent individual and have no trouble asserting my perfectly reasonable boundaries. It meant a huge shakeup of my social circle, as people do not usually allow others to change and grow once they have put you in a box.
Now though, I have found a circle of friends that don’t unwittingly ’neg’ me all the time.
Right there with you! Stay strong, it’s tough, but so worth it.
YEAH
What about nowadays’ trend of NOT using lampshades? I fucking hate the moltitude of suns blinding my eyes in every* room
My girlfriend has a hobby of growing/propagating/selling desert plants. The grow lights fill her living room, and they are intense. 😭
Thankfully, she knows me, and she turns them off whenever I come over.
I like the amber light some of those give off (LED Edison-style bulbs with a dimmer). My trick is to hide them behind objects (like a row of books) and put them on a smart switch so I don’t have to get near them — they light up the wall/ceiling behind the object with a nice warm glow and I don’t have to look at them directly.
This is the way.
I have a similar setup in my home office, where I have a floor standing desk lamp with a reflector to direct the light that I have pointed straight at the wall for indirect lighting.
So you have a… Lampshade!
For my cats I started saying “light!” Before I turn on the lights.
I got my partner to start doing it to.
It is now just a polite thing to so, for all living things, to say “light!” Before turning it on to give time to prepare (I’m very photophobic, and sudden bright light is very painful for me)
(I do similar when I’m going to make a lot of noise; “I’m gunna make some noise - here it comes!” But that’s mostly for the cats)
I can’t emphasise enough how much I’d like people to warn me about noise in advance
My wife and I even do a countdown from 3!
On a rainy day in my old apartment, I liked to lie on the bed with the lights off and look outside the window. Something about watching the city pass by in the rain was just so peaceful, it would be the perfect desktop background…
Without fail, my wife would always walk in and ask, “Are you okay?” and turn the light on.
Is there any actual link between ND and liking dark rooms?
My guess?
Lit room: lots of things scattered around, colors, visual noise, over stimulating
Dark room: dark, not very visible, less/no noise, not (necessarily as) overstimulating
anecdote
The most relaxed I have ever been was in the middle of a huge snowstorm the wind died down and the flakes were huge, I couldn’t hear anything, it was after sunset so once the flashlight was off it was pitch black, and with my coveralls, hoodie, thick coat, gloves and scarf I was warm and couldn’t really feel much of the outside. I just laid down for about 40ish minutes, occasionally seeing the dim spot of headlights from a passing car. Similar concept, dark and quiet, muted external stimuli.
Holly shit, scarves are worse feeling than wearing fiberglass.
I hate most scarves. Mass produced ones are terrible.
Someone knit me a scarf out of merino wool, and it was super duper soft, didn’t fuzz up, and was one big möbius strip.
Eh, I thrifted a silk/cashmere scarf for I forget nothing and it is a true comfort, but lucky…
I love infinity scarves like that!
It’s not dark rooms necessarily, but low stimulation environments. Many ND conditions limit mental “bandwidth”. Sensory processing can eat up a lot of that bandwidth normally. Throw in something like socialising, that eats even more, and we can saturate.
The manifestation of that saturation can vary a lot. My personal preference is a quiet, well lit place, with a static environment. It’s change and ambiguity that cause me problems. I fully understand the appeal of darkness, however, particularly if your sensory filtering on intensity is prone to failing.
Neurodivergence can manifest partly in the form of sensory sensitivity, which can include light sensitivity.
I don’t have an autism diagnosis but I really hate bright lights. They just grate at me. I have blackout curtains all over my apartment and only turn the lights on when I really need to see something.
The darkness doesn’t make me sad or feel depressed or anything. It feels comfortable like a warm blanket.
I’m not sure, my partner is autistic. She doesn’t like bright lights, but she hates changes in brightness even more, so the lights being on helps to deal with the flickering from screens.
I just like the mysterious hacker or vampire vibe.
I’m a bat, I need dark rooms and caves for my habitat.
Yeah no
It’s been 2 hours It’s time to stop sulking in the dark.
It isn’t going to make you feel better.
