When asked what my hobbies are, I never really know what to answer and finally realize that I have no real one. It always makes me sad
Change is part of your identity. Everyones in fact. I have a huge collection of shirts with cool patterns / interests to choose from for example.
“You” are not which hobbies you have or the topics you’re interested in. The fact that I can even form this sentence and it’s not nonsensical should already prove that. I feel like it is self-evident.
You exist, and you go through multiple interests. That means there must be some “you” that is not connected to these interests.
So, why do you define yourself by your interests? Because in our society, specialization is disproportionately rewarded, while a multi-spectrum approach (forgot the word, generalism?) is not. Everyone wants to feel useful in society and we’re made to not feel that. But it’s not that having ADHD makes us useless, it’s just that almost no one bothers to invest in/use our strengths.
So, no, this is neither an attack, nor can you not have a sense of identity. Multiple changing interests are not bad. Not being specialized in one thing is not bad. I’m proud of knowing a lot about a lot of different things. I like who I am, with ADHD, and you should, too.
I have found that mine often come back around, even if it’s many years later. Which is nice because I already have a bunch of books or whatever on the subject, though I had previously barely touched them. So this time I might read a few chapters. Or even the whole book! - I’ve noticed my attention has gotten somewhat better as I age. Many topics I’ve returned to 2 or 3 times now. It was really helpful for me to realize that. Yes, it’s an extremely long list, but it is not infinite or completely without structure.
Ouch, Did you have to get me too.
Born to be an constantly evolving set of self evident ideas, forced to have an identity
Attacking yourself, but swinging so wildly that you’re smacking the rest of us
You are the entity that observes: Your thoughts, your feelings, your mental health and diagnosis’, your physical body, sensations, touch and the world.
Blew my mind to realise I am not my thoughts, I’m the entity that observes my thoughts. Because I feel like my thoughts. Yk. But I’m not!!
This is what I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.
For those who cannot afford therapy right now:
Thoughts shape our emotions, and in turn, our emotions drive our behavior.
Therefore, to combat problematic behavior, one must:
- Identify the facts of the problematic behavior; then,
- Identify the emotions driving our behavior; then,
- Analyze and challenge the thoughts behind the emotions.
We do this because many of the thoughts driving our emotions are not accurate and have to be challenged. These false thoughts are known as cognitive distortions.
The way I heard it described is that your brain, just like any other organ, has a function, and that is to produce thoughts. Just like you can’t stop your heart or quit breathing, you can’t stop your brain from thinking. Just like you can do things to speed up or slow down your heartbeat, or breathe more or less air, you can do things that influence your thoughts. But you can’t shut it off entirely.
Woah. I love that explanation!
You are not your work, hobby or even friends.
Are you kind, empathic, do you help to elevate others; that is how we should define ourselves.
You are you, and that’s good enough.
You are not your work, hobby or even friends.
Oh yeah
Are you kind, empathic, do you help to elevate others; that is how we should define ourselves.
Oh no
This is amazing
This is exactly it. Still cool that I can fix almost everything and giving up is not an option. Took me very long to figure this out though.
😭
I’ve been paying for a guitar teacher for 3 years. Some weeks I only touch it in class, but it has been the only consistent hobby I have ever had. My desk is currently littered by 5 different microcontrollers, 3 single board computers and 2 mesh radios. I barely ever touched any of them
Yeah, music, cooking and video games are pretty much my only consistent hobbies. I think that’s because they all have genres
I hate that this is true for me.
Do you have any hobbies?
Well… I have dabbled in so many things but never stuck on any, so I guess I don’t have any hobbies worthy of the title. Makes me sound boring instead of the truth: spicy and incompetent.
I tell them my hobby is starting new hobbies. And then I list a few of the latest obsessive bursts (this year, rock painting and roller derby and Pilates and paint by numbers and gardening).
Honestly, moreso than starting new hobbies I DON’T start them until I know everything about it, which is never.
“My hobby is learning about new hobbies!”
There you go!
Roller Derby - playing, reffing, or spectating? Derby is awesome!
Trying to learn how to skate and all the rules first, hope the interest stays long enough for me to get to play a game!
Don’t forget the most important step: choosing a name!
Haha, this is what I say, too! “My hobby is collecting new hobbies.” There are supplies for no fewer than five types of crafts on my living room table right now. (Also water bottles, several video game controllers, a solved Rubik’s cube, my medications, and some cannabis paraphernalia.)
I usually just tell people “I fix shit” or “I build things”. Computers and bicycles have been somewhat constant throughout my life though.
Don’t get into salt water fish tanks… pistol shrimp are cool as shit… but getting the tank right is not for the ADHD person :)
Comic books even just keeping up with current Arcs… get pretty expensive and then you just have a backlog of 30+ books to read
Beer making is fun… Cleaning up sucks
Gardening wasn’t for me… I would get home from work everyday and have to spend an hour or two taming my tomato plants (Like vegetables… hate gardening)
I am sure I have more hobbies abandoned than this. Thats the fun of ADHD. I have abandoned more projects than most people have started
So you’re a generalist.
I’m a dang puddle.
Society tends to value highly specialised knowledge, but this doesn’t mean you are worth any less. Especially if we’re talking about hobbies, if flitting between so many different interests that your knowledgebase feels super shallow, then that’s fine. Some people don’t get it, and would judge you negatively for it, but you probably wouldn’t get along well with them anyway.
I bet that there’s loads that I could learn from you, and I wouldn’t mind that the depth of your knowledge in any one area isn’t very deep; I just like learning cool stuff, and I’ve found that people who know lots of little bits about lots of things are some of the most interesting people for that.
Fuck
Can you guys please stop posting memes that describe me perfectly. I was never diagnosed with ADHD
Lol. Same. I only realised I might have some level of ADHD when so many memes rang true to me. Perhaps that’s how it should be diagnosed. It’s certainly quicker and easier.
Oh! Oh! I already posted a meme about that!
Am I the only one here who looked at that picture and thought “Oh look, the rhino’s giving birth.”
Lmao! I gotta watch that movie again now
