Fucking spot on. I feel this way about most of my disorders, except ASD. My ASD is a part of me, though it does have its downsides.

The ADHD is the most significant, though. If I could just remove this anchor from my brain, my quality of life would skyrocket. I don’t find it a “superpower” at all. I am not exaggerating when I say that it has stolen my childhood and early adulthood, and from the outside it looks like laziness or a lack of discipline. Solidarity.

It’s a problem when people just generate the code, see if it runs, maybe test it once or twice, and… That’s it.

Same issue with people blindly copying Stack Overflow and other code snippets on the web.

Like you say, the value we bring is in our review and understanding of the code, as well as our ability to make judgements on things like architecture.

@

It sounds like you are struggling with how your parents and the rest of your family treat you.

Does it make it better or worse if you were indeed their child?

In my mind, blood means nothing. Blood might be your starting place, but you can choose to keep who you want at any time. I only associate with people that do not mistreat me. I was NC with my dad until he died. He treated me like shit, so one day I refused to give him the time of day.

My ex was also horribly abusive to me. When I decided “no more,” he got no special treatment from me either. I got a restraining order against him, like I would for anyone that would try to physically harm me.

Holding on to the past and keeping score isn’t helpful for you. It’s ok to remember it as the reason why you wouldn’t talk to them (or gray rock if you must still associate), but to wish the score was settled? It is a burden on you. Treat yourself with the dignity you deserve, let it go, and heal.

It is not easy, but you are worth this work.

I realize that you see things that planted this seed in your head. I am telling you, that is not really the root of your issue.

What does matter? The people that you do choose. The things YOU decide are important.

Believe me, I know this. I have been mistreated for my childhood and early adulthood. I always wondered what I did to deserve it. Truth of the matter is, I was never likely to find the answer. I could spend a whole lifetime wondering, and for what? I just chalked it up to other people sucking. The way they treated me isn’t a reflection of me, it speaks more to their own shortcomings. I still get mad at how they treated me sometimes, it’s not perfect. But it has made my life a whole lot happier when I let this go. It’s time for you, too.

Unless you decide to independently verify everything you interact with, there is a certain amount of faith that one needs to keep to live day-to-day. I’m not talking about religion.

If I hold a rock in my hand and think it’s a very old rock, but instead it was just a piece of concrete, does it matter?

To you, am I just a bot or am I a person very far away from you talking to you over the Fediverse? Does it matter?

Is the sun really there, or is it an elaborate hoax? Observing the sun and moving on is enough. Does it matter?

What does matter to you? If you ask me, you should care about a few things. Your own wellbeing. The wellbeing of your community. Your friends. The things that bring you any joy. (And if you have none, then if you work on your own wellbeing, you will be able to find joy after a certain point.)

What if you weren’t biologically your parents’ child, but they weren’t aware of that fact, either? Like you got swapped at the hospital? What would that change for you?

Him: “do you enjoy your job?”

Me: “eh, it’s alright. I don’t hate it.”

Him: “you should enjoy it”

Me: shrug “ok”

No need to really engage. No need to give a lot of details. If he pushes just kind of blow him off.

I sometimes get miffed by people that are more privileged than me telling me I should take it easy like them, when that is not an option for me. I remind myself that they just don’t get it and move on.

It’s Jigglypuff, from above!

You are not your work, hobby or even friends.

Oh yeah

Are you kind, empathic, do you help to elevate others; that is how we should define ourselves.

Oh no

There is so much great vegan food!

Thank you!

Understandable, but that’s not my problem.

I answer honestly. “I intended to do it, but I could not force myself to do it.”

When I am having a bad pain day, I don’t make anything else up either. It makes little sense to answer “why didn’t you go up the stairs?” with anything other than “My legs hurt so bad I can barely walk,” so why make something up for ADHD?

Have you tried wool or cotton socks? I’m talking socks with NO polyester or anything else like it in there. It might help with that damp feeling.

Mmm… Baskin-Robbins roast

My balance has a dash in front of it… Probably because I am a cool dude. 😎

I got you, fam.

No, what is the difference?

Loss of benefits

My partner and I are committed, and want to get married. Can’t for financial reasons.

We both have to go to the hospital every once in a while (bad health). I fear for the time I am barred from seeing her because it is “family only” and I am legally a stranger.

I worked with someone that I later found out used AI to code her stuff. She knew how to code some, but didn’t understand a lot of fundamentals.

Turns out, she would have AI write most of it, tweak it to work with her test cases, and call it good.

Half of my time was spent fixing her code, and when she was fired, our customer complaints went way down.

I knew people from bigger cities that had metal detectors in the mid-aughts. I think they’re wider spread now, but I don’t know much about schools now. Not sure about X-ray machines, never heard about those in a school.

In the sticks, we don’t have any of the machines. The textbooks are usually older than the pupils too and a lot of the stuff is in poor repair, so it may be an issue of funding.