I’ve had the exact same experience. Teachers would tell me I don’t concentrate enough, my parents would get mad for not doing homework, and they’d “help” me by giving the answer to some things but then get mad since I still didn’t know how to complete the task, and it’d end in a lot of tears (although I don’t blame them, they knew only the mainstream strategies and we’re never taught anything about neurodivergent behaviours. They also seem to have a lot of ADHD and autistic traits as well, so it’s likely they must’ve thought it’s how everyone else experiences things.)
I was also made to believe I was just inferior to peers at school, since they could get everything done, but I didn’t know how I couldn’t. Even in high school it was pretty bad, with especially my math and English teachers not knowing why I couldn’t get all my coursework done (but for English that was solved a bit by just telling her that I probably have ADHD (which I’m even more sure of now)). Granted, the rest of the classes were great, they were my interests (technology, design, and the law respectively), so I pretty much completed everything there and was seen as well above average in the software development one as well as the design one, so there’s that.
Since I’ve graduated a month back, I really leaned into learning about myself and genuinely shifting my routine, finding out that I didn’t actually have anything wrong with me, it’s just I’m likely to have AuDHD, even if I’m not diagnosed for either yet. I still encounter ableism, although I’ve been quite stern in disclosing my abilities, what makes me comfortable/uncomfortable, and the issues I face, so that’s solved a lot as well.
Something to put the ableism into perspective: when other students underperform compared to me they’re not called lazy for underperforming, I’m called abnormally good instead. But when I underperform at “normal” tasks, I do get called lazy.
I’ve had the exact same experience. Teachers would tell me I don’t concentrate enough, my parents would get mad for not doing homework, and they’d “help” me by giving the answer to some things but then get mad since I still didn’t know how to complete the task, and it’d end in a lot of tears (although I don’t blame them, they knew only the mainstream strategies and we’re never taught anything about neurodivergent behaviours. They also seem to have a lot of ADHD and autistic traits as well, so it’s likely they must’ve thought it’s how everyone else experiences things.)
I was also made to believe I was just inferior to peers at school, since they could get everything done, but I didn’t know how I couldn’t. Even in high school it was pretty bad, with especially my math and English teachers not knowing why I couldn’t get all my coursework done (but for English that was solved a bit by just telling her that I probably have ADHD (which I’m even more sure of now)). Granted, the rest of the classes were great, they were my interests (technology, design, and the law respectively), so I pretty much completed everything there and was seen as well above average in the software development one as well as the design one, so there’s that.
Since I’ve graduated a month back, I really leaned into learning about myself and genuinely shifting my routine, finding out that I didn’t actually have anything wrong with me, it’s just I’m likely to have AuDHD, even if I’m not diagnosed for either yet. I still encounter ableism, although I’ve been quite stern in disclosing my abilities, what makes me comfortable/uncomfortable, and the issues I face, so that’s solved a lot as well.
Something to put the ableism into perspective: when other students underperform compared to me they’re not called lazy for underperforming, I’m called abnormally good instead. But when I underperform at “normal” tasks, I do get called lazy.