This is a kinda embrassing question to ask so pls don’t judge.
I did have moments where I like… went to the local library alone, or like an all day school trip or something…
But I never really like… explored outside alone… especially far from home…
So like… I feel scared about the idea of like… just going for a walk all by myself…
I realize I’ve always just asked parents to drive me somewhere so I never got a chance to just get in the habit of being by myself.
I don’t have a driver’s license so I don’t really have like a car to “retreat to”, if you know what I mean, like as in sort of “castle”.
How do I even “feel safe” just being outside on my own? For context I’m non-white so it’s… kinda intimidating… especially in the current context of US political atmosphere.
I’m supposed to be, but I had to withdraw due to depression…
I mean… I literally got so much separation anxiety when I tried to stay at a college owned apartment, literally had trouble sleeping…
I mean is it even surprising I have depression? like… never feeling safe outside and also never feeling safe at home either… yea depression is just a deterministic outcome at this point
Oh btw my older brother never opted for the university housing… he just went to the satelite campuses close by instead of the main campus, to stay at home throught the entire 4 years… like just commutes to college… its a 30 - 45 min drive away… (I mean I also chose the satallite campus, but I tried to live away from home)
I don’t think he wants to admit it, but I think he’s also afraid of leaving home…
Literally never seen him go outside or anything besides work… so he’s just like me… but he’s acts, IMO, even weirder than me
So… it’s not just me… my mom has raised kids that are trauma bonded to her and don’t know how to be independent…
Great job, mom 🫠
Start small, choose some place close like a convenience store or something and keep doing that until you’re comfortable, then slowly expand. After a while you’ll get used to it, and distance won’t matter as much.
If you have anxiety, maybe look into trying some medication to have on hand if you start to get anxious.
Since you are posting this question, I am assuming you want to get out. Take it slow and stay close to. Familiarity breeds comfort.