I’m in my early 30s, been on HRT for a few months now (boobs growing yay), and I work with another trans woman, late 20s fully transitioned years ago. We work together and have hung out outside work several times, and I can’t escape the fact that I’m getting feelings for her. This has been building for me for the past couple years, but we’ve worked together for at least 3. The situation is complicated because we work together and I don’t want to do anything to compromise our working relationship/friendship, which has been really good. She’s also married (her wife is a trans woman), poly, and ace. I love being around her and talking to her. I want to get to know her better and be physically affectionate with one another. Sex is pretty much off the table and not something I seem to want from her anyway. Mostly I just want to hold her and tell her how much she means to me. There’s a part of me that really wants to tell her how I feel about her, but there’s a much larger part that doesn’t. I’m terrified of learning that my feelings are unwelcome, that just expressing my feelings will end our relationship. So far I haven’t said anything, or even hinted anything, but it hurts so much to want to be closer and to hold myself back from taking a chance. I know that this is probably the worst time in my life to try, having only started transitioning a few months ago and only recently being finally done with a (messy) previous relationship. I just don’t know if I can carry on with things the way they are. Obviously the answer is to enjoy being friends with this woman I care so much about. Maybe something will change in the future. Maybe nothing will. Either would be better than losing her now. But knowing that doesn’t really change how I feel…

Idk what I’m expecting to get out of posting this. I guess I just wanted someone to listen. I don’t really have anyone in my life right now who I think would understand. Thanks for reading. Happy to hear any thoughts y’all would like to share.