Okay, so It’s my first post. I don’t know if this count as NSFW but just in case I’ll put a spoiler.
Tap for spoiler
So… today i felt something that I had never felt before a big dysphoria crisis when my wife started to be a bit intimate with me.
I won’t go into details, but basically I never though that my bottom part would cause me this feeling. I ended up crying because of what I felt… I can’t really put words on it…
I never felt that before when I was still an egg. (Well, some things were less enjoyable but never this).
I don’t really know what to think about it, why did my body react this way. Even though I never though about any surgery about it.
Even yesterday, I thought like I don’t understand why some people would have dysphoria about their genitals. I though that we need to deconstruct gender and we can be feminine or masculine with any organs and this hits me like a slap I’m the face.
I feel foolish.
I also didn’t feel any bottom dysphoria before I started medical transition, mostly indifference. Once the more pressing issues (like being perceived as a man socially) were resolved, bottom dysphoria started getting worse and worse until it was the only thing I could think about. I feel like my dysphoria in other areas didn’t resolve but rather shifted toward bottom dysphoria. So there’s definitely a component of “understanding” dysphoria before you can feel it, I guess?