Okay, so It’s my first post. I don’t know if this count as NSFW but just in case I’ll put a spoiler.
Tap for spoiler
So… today i felt something that I had never felt before a big dysphoria crisis when my wife started to be a bit intimate with me.
I won’t go into details, but basically I never though that my bottom part would cause me this feeling. I ended up crying because of what I felt… I can’t really put words on it…
I never felt that before when I was still an egg. (Well, some things were less enjoyable but never this).
I don’t really know what to think about it, why did my body react this way. Even though I never though about any surgery about it.
Even yesterday, I thought like I don’t understand why some people would have dysphoria about their genitals. I though that we need to deconstruct gender and we can be feminine or masculine with any organs and this hits me like a slap I’m the face.
I feel foolish.
I’ll add to the pile. I wasn’t like super sure or at least didn’t have a plan when I was first starting, then it hit me like a truck after just a few months on HRT.
I think I even made a post on Lemmy about it. Possibly very drunkenly. Such is life.
If you feel foolish, then I wouldn’t worry! Hah, this journey has certainly made me feel like an idiot a few times, but actually starting to accept and even like myself a bit has been so beautiful, I can excuse my early (and sometimes ongoing) foolishness. It’s okay not to know, it’s okay to need time to figure it out, it’s okay to change your mind!