I remembered when I was a kid trying to learn to hold a pen “properly” (as everyone do) I couldn’t manage to do it and was holding it in my own way. Parents and teachers were trying to teach me how to hold it “properly” but it just didn’t work out, I sticked to the way it was comfortable to me. The common way of holding it wasn’t understandable to me and I just could not do it no matter how much I tried. Eventually adults gave up and let me be, except few more poor attempts from random teachers in school to re-teach me. I ended up with my own unique method of holding the pen and being asked from every person see my grip “why you are holding pen like that?”. My handwriting wasn’t very good, in school classes I would get lower grades because of it. Later as a teenager when I was “randomly” (you know) interested in calligraphy I have mastered my handwriting to a level none of those adults could ever imagine I would do, but still using the same grip I learned as a child and until now. Now when realizing myself autistic after 20+ years I thought, was my inability to learn to hold a pen in common way (as taught) a clear sign of being autistic? What is your experience with learning to hold a pen?
Maybe a quarter of my class held their pencil various “wrong” ways and no one seemed to care beyond “huh, that’s original”. Same with eating utensils.
I don’t think it has much, if anything, to do with autism.
I agree. I also think some ways of holding a pen improve your precision and might improve your handwriting or drawing-fine-detail ability.
Currently trying out new ways myself because the way i am holding it, thumb on the side pointer on the side and laying it on the middle finger, is now more than ever uncomfortable. Especially when i want to draw things
I see loads of people holding pens weird ways I dont think it is a sign of autism.
it’s not so much an autism specific thing but it is definitely a “you will behave in this exact way or else” thing. i recall in the 90s being sent to the office, having my parents called and routinely guilted. for using ‘the cross thumb’ in this image with the paper horizontal while writing. and a few other on here while drawing. then i got out of school and was told there isnt one way to hold a pencil and i may never stop being angry about this.
Going to try out all of them and see which is best for me to draw with. Thanks!
Here are the two ways I’m familiar with; the first being my preferred way:
Method 1
Method 2
My parents spent ages trying to get me to hold a pen the “right” way, pinched near the tip with the thumb, index and middle fingers.
Early AI attempts at a hand holding a pen (circa 2025, colorized)
/lh
this is amazing grip, i am glad your parents couldn’t do anything about it lol
Between my index and middle finger., supported with the tip of my thumb. Picked it up in college when I got hand cramps while taking notes.
I’ve got to try this. My hand gets fatigued after about 10 minutes of writing with the “regular” grip.
Let me know if it works for you! When I started, I was using a Unlimited Kreisler Goofy Ballpoint. Weighs more than the screwdriver in my pic. Helped me strengthen my hands quite a bit.
I love that you chose to demonstrate with a screwdriver
Lol, didn’t have a pen on hand. 😅
first I was confused of unusual form of pen
There was a throwback to how to hold a pen/pencil in the US going back to even forcing left handed people to use their right hand, to disastrous results. There are many ways to perform the function, many with their own pros and cons, but as someone else mentioned it might have simply been a “started doing it 1 way and was resistant to change”.
I am curious in what way you hold it which was so different it was seen as needing to be corrected.
That doesn’t even look that odd to me, heh.
Left handed? Lots of lefties hold the pen upside down. Keeps the ink off their hand.
right handed
I have a similar (writing skill) story to yours but no diagnoses. I just assumed my hand was the wrong shape and didn’t fit the norm that lets you write in the taught and most used form. My hand is too… .scrunched up… when using a pen, to many finger tips on the pen itself.
I see some folks around me with autism diagnoses that have extra difficulty with small motor function, and that often includes below-par handwriting. If that kind of stuff has been hard for you too (like having difficulty with cutlery or scissors), it might be part of the same pattern. If not, you might just have been unlucky when they were handing out hands ;-)
I have absolutely no clue what the “normal” way to hold a pen is, but I hold all pens, pencils, whatever, using my thumb, pointer, and middle finger. That’s how I’ve been doing it for basically ever. Absolutely do not recommend that if you are like me; left handed and the other side of your hand rests on page when writing.
