I always got called out for being weird throughout my life but NOBODY ever mentioned to me they thought I was so I just got exhausted of being misunderstood and misinterpreted sometimes and tried learning the social etiquette my entire life, somethings I don’t necessarily agree but I do it anyway and try understanding others doing for the sake of fitting in and I just got quite used to it, miserable at times yes, but it’s become my life all of that and any quirkness I just assumed to be due to having more individuality than others since no one ever questioned me directly if I had anything other than just plainly calling me weird. I’ve honestly been hopeless with life more than I’d like to admit so I’m not sure how I’m going to process all of this, I figured if anyone could understand or relate to this life experience I have would be others diagnosed as well, has it been like this for everyone here and felt this same way when diagnosed (for those who were diagnosed after already becoming adults)? I’m overwhelmed and needed to talk to someone about this but I have no one other than my psychologist however I’m not comfortable discussing it with her right now about it and since Lemmy is semi-anonymous/anonymous I feel a bit more inclined to talk about it here 😞
Everything you say here, I have felt and am feeling as well. Before the pandemic I went out with friends and had fun. Now it’s so hard to deal with other people, it makes me so tired to fake being like them, and I beat myself up when I realise I didn’t mask well enough. It’s like the pandemic made my symptoms worse, but I think it’s just lack of practice. Also maybe burnout over everything else going on in the world.
You’re not alone bud; now you know why things have been so tough your whole life, just like us. You’re part of a big cool club 😂