So I’m currently on the verge of tears because I’ve had an extremely difficult weekend. My Misophonia was awful. I am extremely triggered by my mom yawning. I’ve learned to not overreact, but I still glare sometimes, and she notices and whispers “sorry” while glaring at me. Her sister is ten times worse. She has a tendency to make my trigger noises louder on purpose (probably to get me used to them), yet she kind of does it in a baby voice (because she coddles me 24/7). Anyway, her yawns were so loud and violent along with my grandfather’s. On top of it my grandma’s dog got put down today. My mom offered to take me to her house on the way home to hopefully comfort her, and I said yes. Unfortunately, my grandma wasn’t in the mood for visitors, which completely broke my heart, I’m so sensitive lol. I was ready to break down, but thankfully held it together.
Tonight however, I am slowly losing my patience. I came home to my younger sister coughing, which is another big trigger of mine. She wants to go with my dad to take me back to college tomorrow but I don’t want her to. Normally I love it when she comes, but I’m so afraid she will cough and I will get upset. I also can’t decide what time to go back. My dad normally wants to go as early as possible because of the traffic, but tonight for whatever reason he told me the sky is the limit and he’s willing to take me whenever. I’ve had a hard time communicating because I simply can’t decide! Do I go early in the morning and risk my dad yawning constantly, or do I go in the afternoon and have to hear my sister coughing all day?
I don’t know what to do. My dad said he doesn’t believe I’ll be ready by 10 so he’s planning to go for a drive and to call him if I’m ready. My plan is to hopefully get up early and just go before the chaos gets worse, but ultimately I don’t know what I want to do.
I don’t mean to sound rude but have you looked into some good earbuds/headphones
I have, I used to wear them all the time when my Misophonia was at its worst, but I’ve got to the point where I don’t need to wear them as often. I do wear them sometimes though, unfortunately I didn’t have them on me this week
I wonder are there solutions with “soft drops of levels”.
So, instead of blocking everything or allowing everything, you could gradually let more volume in specific noises.
My partner uses noise cancelling headphones with adjustable levels of noise cancelling for this. She used to have a WH-1000XM4 but I’m not sure if that one had different levels, she currently uses a Quiet Comfort Ultra where the “outdoor” mode is not only resistant to wind, but also blocks slightly less noise when she’s inside.
What are her current headphones? Those different modes sound heavenly.
Bose Quiet Comfort Ultra
I don’t have any advice for you unfortunately, but I completely sympathise. Coughing, and especially overly performative yawning, can totally throw my day off track.
You calling it performative yawning reminds me. What’s up with that? Why do some people engage their vocal cords when they yawn? My yawns sound like long, soft sighs.
Me too! I just can’t find a satisfying explanation. I ask people, and they shrug and say that it’s habit. These people usually yawn very quietly in situations where it would be disrespectful to do otherwise, meaning they’re both aware that they’re doing it, and capable of controlling it.
If I were to take a stab at it, I’d say that stifling a yawn (ie trying to make your mouth open less, breathing quieter) also suppresses the vocal component. As well, that the vocal part leads to a heartier and more satisfying yawn. Some people absolutely do exaggerate it a lot though. However, if I try to suppress the vocal part while still yawning as fully as possible, there’s still a small squeak towards the end, which isn’t really any different from my typical yawns.
Okay the squeaky yawn sounds adorable though. I am okay with adorable yawns.
Yeah I know right? I’ve heard similar things. On the flip side, I’ve been called weird for not just making random noises with my voice, for example when sneezing or not screaming on a rollercoaster.
I mean look at the comm we’re in. We could not be more stereotypical.
For me it’s one item on the long list of Is It Because of my Autism or my Trauma
I mean, random noises with your voice is also pretty stereotypical for autistic folks as well! I would daresay that for many autistic folks, suppressing those noises is a learned behaviour from being told off.
Haha, yeah actually after writing that comment I sat for a bit thinking about all the noises I do make. But you see, my noises serve a purpose. They stop me from going insane.
Truuuue, I feel much more sane since I stopped suppressing my vocal (and non-vocal) stims!
3M makes a set of bluetooth hearing protection ear muffs/headphones called 3M Pro Protect. They have speakers and a microphone that allows you make phone calls while wearing them, and also hear your surroundings, but they cut out loud sounds, like running a big machine, very loud yawns, or coughing. There is a button that switches the volume of ambient sounds between four volume levels and completely off. They offer a noise reduction of something like 26 decibels, so they are pretty quiet when you shut the mic off. I am sound sensitive, and these have been a real godsend. They may very well dampen your reaction to triggers. Finding the path forward is the Way. You’re doing great!!!
I’ve looked into that actually, I do have a pair of headphones that block about 30 decibels, they’re super helpful. I am always on the quest for new headphones though lol
I hope it was better than you expected.
