I am 27F. I’ve been wondering if I am on the autistic spectrum for a while now as I feel alien, disconnected and weird during social interactions. I’ve never been taken seriously because people see me as socially gifted. So I took an online test, not as a way to diagnose myself, but to show proof to my actual therapist there might be something to explore. I scored 154 on 200.
Weirdly, she didn’t dismiss me like other professionals did. She just said it’s a great question to ask but as part of her training she did not study this so she can’t evaluate me for it, I’ll have to ask my psychiatrist.
Now I am terrified of getting a diagnosis, the little voice inside of my head tells me “what if I am creating a whole story in my head?”
You have imposter syndrome. Have you taken cat-q test on embrace autism site? I’d say if you made it so far till here you are probably autistic lol. But seriously speaking I’d do more tests on the site https://embrace-autism.com/ and do more self evaluation and research. Try to learn about sensitivities more and see which might apply to you, if you figure out you are sensitive to loud sound/light or certain situations then try to learn to stim and see if stimming feels natural to you. Watch some videos from this channel to get rid of imposter syndrome https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3hsywnsl7c It took me half year to properly self diagnose I am around your age and figured out myself just recently but I’m man, for woman and non binary people there is way higher masking and camouflaging level so self diagnosing is even more difficult. Half year ago I was convinced light and noise don’t affect me and I am very good with looking at everyone’s eyes and now I have ASD lvl 2 evaluation from clinical psychologist who said that I actually suck at eye contact lol (well they said not “suck” but struggling). I also learned I’m quite sensitive to environment, its a process of self realization. If something looks for you as “nah no way I am never like that/ never had it” then after self realization it might turn quite opposite and you will realize you actually just wasn’t self aware enough and was hard masking.
Thank you for the ressources I’ll take the test.
I suck at eye contact too, I asked my parents some questions about my childhood and it seems I already showed signs of autism, which isn’t too shocking for me as I remember isolating myself from other kids and staying with adults instead… I never had many friends and as I’ve told my therapist I learned body language through books.
I already stim and it calms me down, I always thought it was nothing much since my stimming is just moving my leg up and down, I always thought it was because of my anxiety.
Well, thank you for the ressources you’re really nice.