Hey!
If there’s confusion related to the title,its just a reference that the system has won, I lost, once again.
So my paid for professional diagnosis is done for now, I am refused the official recognition as an Autist. It’s all still there though.
I am livid. And empty.
I guess it’s my fault since >40 years of adapting and masking can make you too social, that’s what it broke down to. I am friendly and open and excel at masking.
They don’t see the price I (we) pay.
Apologies for the rant. I need your support.
So personally, I’m not seeking the diagnosis. AuADHD is hard enough to experience, I don’t want people to also be able to use it as an excuse with me. I know my limits.
People have asked me for years, assumed I was, and when my ASD friends find out I’m not diagnosed are legitimately shocked. For 20 some years I’ve been in denial about the extremely obvious signs because I wanted to fit in.
I have a very hard time accepting anything, but I have a harder time rejecting clear patterns, evidence, external observation, and introspection. Honestly, thats been more valuable to me than a diagnosis. The diagnosis would just confirm what I know, not how I’m going to go forward.
So instead I can ask a therapist directly: “how do I stop wasting energy trying to fit in, when fitting in is expected?”
I can cope as stated in other answers but I need to know the facts. Is issue ‘A’ just a given and needs to be worked with or can it be changed?
This is also what I am looking for.