Do people confuse autistic people as nice guys? Are some people uncomfortable with you because they think you are a pushover? A pushover may appear weak, but their hidden strength, quiet intensity, or restrained anger can make others uneasy.
Do people confuse autistic people as nice guys? Are some people uncomfortable with you because they think you are a pushover? A pushover may appear weak, but their hidden strength, quiet intensity, or restrained anger can make others uneasy.
Why would anyone be afraid/uncomfortable around someone whose a pushover? If anything, it just makes people not respect a person like that which is the exact opposite and the reason why being a “nice-guy” is a bad long term strategy.
Because they can be unpredictable. They cannot be trustworthy. They can be broken easily. People feel insecure around those people whom they cannot trust.
They’re not unpredictable though. I can count on them being a pushover who never stands up for themselves.
At some point, they may break down emotionally. You play games with them, and so do others who do not like you. That may make them unreliable.
I think I get what you’re getting at.
Being ‘hard to read’ and awkward can make people uncomfortable, especially if they’ve witnessed an outburst, retreat, or some seemingly inscrutable reaction. As an example. I catch myself putting people off with a ‘neutral frown’ in conventionally inappropriate situations, sometimes. I have a tendency to get over-excited and start talking over others or interrupting, a weird contrast to a shy/introverted demeanor.
I also have an issue where I perceive myself as unreliable/untrustworthy, and a tendency not to reciprocate when something personal is shared. That might be interpreted as deliberate when simply I missed the cue (or get distracted by it).
…What I’m getting at is you might be mixing up some self-esteem issues with what people actually perceive interacting with you. You might be mixing up being ‘untrustworthy’ with simpler misunderstandings. I’m speaking from personal experience, here.
Something along those lines. If you have difficulty communicating your boundaries, you may appear “nice”, especially if you are a shy person.
Yeah.
I guess I am treated as ‘unreliable’ over my weird behavior, like I’m being babied. Sometimes dismissed or ignored.
I am wording all this really poorly. Hell, I’m still trying to figure it out myself.