I can’t tell if we are miscommunicating here, or if my leg is being pulled.

You are not aware of staunchly anti-OOP (object oriented programming) people existing? Anti-OOP is a majority position now (always was in my circles). And the holdout proponents would usually only defend one (limited or revisionist) way of doing it, usually referring to some specific language implementation. Long gone is the quintessential list of OOP talking points presented in C++/Java classes in the 90’s.

For people new to this, a quick search should lead to an endless stream of results. I found this one immediately which looks decent and covers good ground.

What are your thoughts on oop?

I don’t like it. Reasons are well documented by others if you look for them.

I also wrote that part half-jokingly, and as a way to intrigue people to read until that part. And now you called my bluff 😶